You see, she was a hoarder and this was the fifth time
fifth move we had tossed out the accumulation.
So, while I was taking care of her, I would, in my mind, be
merrily tossing things and furniture out.
But it didn't end up that way for me....
I wasnt really attached to anything there, all that was left was ancient
photos of ancestors over in england that my sister got. Lots of jewelry
costume and real from other passed relatives.
Everything went into the lobby for people to pick through...
(maybe I should have kept that necklace or that mug....)
Small scraps picked up and floors vacuumed....
I think that it is really driving home that mother is not coming back.
This year was full of "lasts"
Last trip to the beach,
last haircut at bernie's
last road trip
Everyone goes through this, these " stages of grief"
watching a loved one slowly lose who they were......
4 comments:
(((HUGS)))
Hugs to you... I had the same thing happen to me when my mother died. Our family home of 60 plus years. Ohhh the things we found and had to get rid of. You saw how big that house was on my blog... you can only imagine. It took me 4 months to do it mostly by myself.Talk about depression.. Yes indeed the thought of them not coming back is pretty devastating. Visit with her and share what time you can with her.
Oh, but these things are not who she is. That's in your heart. And hers, even if she can't access it all the time, it's there.
I just found your comment on my blog. Guess, even after being into the second year of writing, I'm still unsure of where comments are and passed up yours and a couple of others.
My blog is lifetimesthreelivingwithlbd. Mom passed in January 2014. Wait! Can it really be September 2015 already? And my husband? Passed five years this coming January. Not possible!
My life is filled with trying to restabalize; events during both of their medical challenges and the challenges we had with Undue Influence took us down so far we thought we might never get back to any form of stability again. But we have. It's a journey. Just like the time with the two we loved so much and miss so much.
I haven't "released" all of Mom's things. Daughter and I go through it but we often can't let go. Same with my husband's. Keep telling myself they're only "things" but it's what's attached -- memories, thoughts, even the feel of a fabric or the memory generated by the touch of the item.
We are human. We mourn. We continue to miss those we loved and still love.
That's the beauty of our species, the fact that we can love, we can feel and we can mourn.
As for me, I continue to write because I believe there's so much to record, to discuss to bring to light about life in Long Term Care Nursing Facilities, the lack of good practices and ways we can ensure protection of lives along with individuality.
I wish you better times and smiles along the way. Donna
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