Questions then Silence

I just realized that I am not answering a hundred questions a day....
Maybe it is because she is losing her ability to speak
maybe it is because we don't do 'scary' things anymore....
I just realized I am not living in "Groundhog Day" any more....
.....................................
wow.....

Decisions

A few weeks ago I met and interviewed a companion service for mom.
My mother was in a good mood so I overlooked things that bothered
me about it.
The field person was down to earth and found my mother to be
sweet as she puttered around listening to music.
My mother even wanted the lady to stay...
The next appointment was to meet the companion.
She was pretty late, went to wrong building.
I had her sit down and do a puzzle with mom.
It seemed ok until I saw my mother's surprised expression when
she saw the lady was brown..
After this interview though, my opinion of the company went down.
They were supposed to call and come by for deposit-
never did.
The young woman I interviewed "went on vacation" for a week.
I called them about scheduling for twice a week and was told
they would get back to me-
never did.
they seemed to sound funny when I mentioned her "vacation".
The DAY the companion was supposed to show for first real
day they called me at ten thirty in the morning to say they
"Had a situation" and the woman had been in hospital.
No replacement and scheduled another companion interview
for the NEXT week= so that makes it Three weeks!

At the prompting of my bf I called another agency.
This field person showed up early, got into this building
and found my apartment .
My mother wasnt all giddy this time and just sat quietly
during the interview...
The interview was MUCH different in that the woman
was living the caregiver life for her own parents and so
was the owner of the franchise.
The franchise is owned by people who live in the
close-knit town my mother used to live in.
She didnt placate me with sales pitches, or say she
"loved" my mother like the other woman...
She had all the paperwork with her, legal documents for privacy,
doctor info etc. all there to sign.
I decided to go for it and gave her the deposit.
When she left I called the other place and
(just in case) I told them mom had a cold and canceled
the interview with another companion.
I cannot juggle two companies,
I really hope I made the right decision.

My friend whose husband tried to jump out of her car
ended up having to immediately be taken to hospital.
His violent combative behavior has not abated enough to
go to a home yet...
My heart aches for her.
It is just astounding how quickly he changed in just
a year.

Too Funny, Too Sad

Yesterday I found something that made me laugh out loud.
My mother sees the flecks on her bathroom floor as
being bugs.
I found a piece of tissue paper with bits of bread on it
as bait on the floor .
Oh lordy LoL !
I didnt say anything, just flushed it -
Too funny

I am thankful she isnt combative (yet?)
My friend's husband with ALZ.
 has gone over the edge with combative
nasty violent behavior.
I witnessed him trying to get out of her car while stopped at
a light the other day-
she had to run the light to keep him from jumping out.
She is suffering from PTSD already and getting worse
from him being violent towards her.

This article is The Best

https://www.answers4families.org/book/export/html/1

Some quotes-

False things people say-

1. "Your family member would never want you to do this for them, they would want you to get on with your life." What does this comment mean to any of us who are caring for a family member? This statement is about justifying what feels like abandonment. It is not about comfort.
2. "Enough about your family member, I want to know how you're doing."

The primary caregiver and the family member become entwined in ways that are often not recognized or valued by outsiders. There is a deep and often very complex bond that forms between the caregiver and the family member. When well-meaning helpers exclude the family member in their attempt to focus on the caregiver's needs, it often serves to isolate the caregiver even more.

"No one should have to sacrifice their lives for another." Caring for another human being is about unconditional love. It is not about being a patsy. Those of us who take on the challenge feel that it isn't a sacrifice in the negative sense of that word. Our care is about commitment and obligation. Whatever our reasons, they are ours, and they are not for anyone else to judge.

My father might have pneumonia.
Not sure how the home diagnosed this, but they put him on
antibiotics. what if it is the ecoli back again?
I spoke to him three days ago.... I think whenever he is about to
get sick he calls me :(

I really shouldn't read the alzheimer forums when i am already
upset. All the stories of them going crazy makes me fearful of
the future.
I am meeting with a companion service monday here at
my mother's.
Squelching all this emotion is making me feel a need to
seek a place to "be quiet and listen"...