So Sad

I found my mom sitting asleep at a table with a plate of food infront of her.
It was 11am and half her breakfast ground ham was on the table.
So, she had been sitting there since 8:30am when her aid said she fed her
(and denied she had sat there all morning)
I cleaned up the mess and after massaging her legs and feet and rubbing her
back to wake her up, she walked over to a comfortable couch.
There, I could sit next to her better and put my head on her shoulder
and she could snug close. Her hands and feet were cold.

She fell asleep deeply
and my tears fell on her shoulder....

After an hour we made our way to a table for lunch-
she kept falling asleep and in between
I would feed her one bite.
She would refuse another bite, fall asleep, take a bite.
When I left the table to wash my hands I saw her feeding herself
so that was good.

Sleepy but Mobile

As soon as I entered the floor I recognized the back of mom's head.
She was dozing on a couch but I was told she had been running around earlier.
She would wake up and acknowledge my kisses and pets
and then doze off mumbling.
There was a weighted comforter there and I found that it acted like
a hug when I draped it over her arms.

One of the resident's husbands said I should
"put her in a chair and take her outside"
Maybe next week, for some reason I am afraid to be away from
help if i need it.

She got up easily from the couch with no achy back ,walked
well to the table for lunch, and ate her entire meal. Yay!

There were two new residents to replace the ones who had
passed away. Like a river they come and go...

WooHoo mom's 92

Delicate Petal

When I saw mom on March 31st she was sitting on the couch napping.
I sat next to her , snuggled and kissed her.
Her aid last time said she was sleeping more and this time
she was still sleepy. Her eyes are not red so it isnt from being up all night...
so i am afraid she is entering the next stage.
The sleepy stage. This is the next stage of the progression of
Alzheimer where they cannot keep their eyes open even to eat.
She read out loud from a book for a bit for me which was nice
as it turned into singing ( she cannot read and it was gibberish)
Then promptly fell asleep.
I managed to capture one photo....
in it she looks quite calm and delicate like a flower petal.

Like a rose in a vase you have to be so careful and enjoy it
because it is wilting before your eyes
before you are ready, before you have prepared, you care for it
and tend to it....
it still softens and weakens
and sighs .....

Today my beloved mom is 92