Death can be Beautiful

http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2012/05/dotty-looked-beautiful-in-death.html

Her son took her home and had help, but let her go naturally and thankfully it was peaceful.
If only everyone could be granted this blessing.

Cable Trap

Since the closed circuit tv channel is not really a cable channel they cannot block it.
But the woman was kind enough to look into other options.
 I am willing to do anything!
 I had seen on the internet something called a "trap" that is used to block channels and I suggested it.
They are coming next week to install one.
I hope to dear god it works.
She came over again this evening
and I knew she was agitated -
she was red from head to toe, even her legs!
She INSISTED there was something of hers down in the lobby.
A woman had just been yelling at ME not to move the postal boxes down there
-( I was moving them out of camera range)
 Yes, everyone is watching the dam channel.
I was on the phone with father when she knocked at my door- he had the audacity to laugh at my situation.

I am angry.

ALZ confusion

I wish I could figure out how to delete channels from my mothers cable.
She keeps seeing things in the lobby on the video cam channel and thinking they are hers.
She calls and calls and will not be calmed.
I finally relented to find her red with agitation,
 walked her downstairs to show her nothing is there.
This time she grabbed the USPS crate and insisted it was hers!
I stayed out of camera range ( I'm sure she provided entertainment)
And had her read the side.
She was extremely confused, angry, and accused me of not caring about her.

I hate it when I get 'snippy' but my mother's constant badgering me about wanting to move makes me angry. I end up saying "fine" and showing her places she could move to and be alone again like she was before she moved here.
You want Ohio by the great lake? Fine, the winters are pretty bad up there.
Today I want to ship her off and never hear about her again.
Yes your son is up there, he can take care of you.
One of the other siblings that don't bother to call even for mother's day.

Blog That Has Helped

I have been reading this mans adventure being caregiver to his mother for a while. His name is Bob DeMarco. Reading the blog and reading the comments has really been a help.
Now his mother is in hospice dying from Alzheimer's disease...
Just last week they where having lunch.
His personal entries are sprinkled with ones if information, and guest entries, all have been interesting. But now I find myself and his readers watching him go through what every child who is involved with another go through as the end nears..
I could not help but think of them today...
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/

Chaos

One or two days without my going over to mother's and it's a mess over there.
Books and clothes in the towel closet. Lightbulbs in her drawers.
Tablecloths where the sheets should be.
Everything out from the storage room and into the livingroom.
"I have no place to put things"
 because she has dragged out everything from their storage containers.
My brain starts spinning like Alice through the looking glass...
God forbid I spend a little time away.