Alzheimer's To The Dentist

Mother lost a filling in January.
Yesterday I took her to the dentist. She did NOT want to go because she didn't feel anything wrong and (of course) doesn't trust doctors.
I told her she had a cavity, a lie she could understand, and that you cannot feel a cavity but you need to take care of it or you will lose your tooth.
This was easier than trying to explain a crown which she would have vehemently resisted.
Anyways, the only problem I faced was when the Dr was not in the room.
She would become agitated saying he had left the building.
So, we played games-
The running game- "Running Away" by kicking ones legs laying on dentist chair.
(We do this sitting down too, running in place.)
It satisfies the want to leave.
Stretch & touch - Both of us reaching forward and touching the other's finger-tips, one arm at a time.
Magazine, TV...
Singing a tune and changing the words to be silly.
She sings "Animal Crackers in my soup"
and I sing something about not wanting animal poop in my soup.
Anyways, because she was doing well we decided to go for it and create/install crown in one sitting instead of bringing her back again.
Made her soup for dinner.
We will see how she does.

Payee...What ?!

Well, I thought I would just call Social Security with mother
 next to me and get things taken care of.
 But what happened was completely unexpected.
Things were going fine, the woman was asking mother
questions and mom was answering as I held up
 the answers written on paper...
Then I got on the phone and was asked if mother was capable
 of paying her own bills and finances.
I answered no, I do them.
Suddenly the game changed like a shot.
The woman said she was making a note of this and mother's
 checks would be suspended until I was elected as her payee.
 I was to go to the city office and get this done immediately.
WHAT???!!!!
Anxiety spiked. I could not let on anything was going on infront of mother who by now was agitated and angry about the questions she had been asked- I had to remain calm, but I had to get out of there!
I paced for a bit on my own and then grabbed my briefcase and headed to the office.
Fighting anxiety, by the time I got through the mile long lines and seated my heart was flittering.
Now for the reason they did this--
S.S. does NOT want their checks being sent to someone who is incapable of handling money.
So what they want you to do is set up a 'payee' and a 'payee' bank account
for the checks to go directly into.
SS does not recognize POA, so this is like a POA for SS.
They faxed my mothers Dr. and will approve it after that is returned.
I have to go open a Payee bank account and provide the routing number once I receive the letter of approval.
Mother was still stressed out when I got back so I created a lie about what was going on.
A simple tale that we are just getting an address change.
She felt better after this, and a walk.
All I wanted was to lay down.
Today I feel like I have been through a battle.
 But this was something that had to be done
one day- it just happened all of a sudden !

Ill Equipped Caregiver

I think things might be getting to the point where I am ill equipped to handle them. My mother received a letter from social security giving her a new dollar amount and that the previous one was incorrect. Well, this "new amount" has got to be a mistake because it is only $200.00. What? She only gets $700 as it is. Needless to say I am massively confused.
I will be adding this to the other things I have to take her personally to the SS office for to get done.
I cannot believe I have to take her with me to the city. The snow has made parking down there a nightmare. Between her dementia and my anxiety and arthritis, it will be, well, interesting.

I have not visited or spoken to my father in a while.
It had been a month(?) and I had finally felt a bit good one day.
 I was making homemade soup and he called.
 I wish to god I had never answered.
He heard my voice and said "hey you sound good!"
 and immediately began demanding me to come take him to diner.
My day was destroyed.
The next day my phone rang and rang and rang over 20 times.
I took care of my mother, but the anxiety rose & rose.
Had to unplug answering machine from his demands.
It sent me into a dreadful awful place
of which I am still trying to recover with new medication.