Memory Loss

Both of my parents are suffering tremendous memory loss now.
My mother's short term is zero, and well, so is her long term.
My father's has diminished to perhaps a day.
I have to switch gears now with my father to the way I speak to my mother.
I never say "remember- such & such", because he doesn't, unless it is from the way past. I felt pretty bad yesterday when he said he needed to make 'preparations' and I was taken aback - He was actually surprised when I said he had paid for and signed papers for cremation.
 He has said he wanted this for 20 years! Now he acted like it was all new.
It was painful, but quickly forgotten.
My mother will have nothing to do with any conversation about it-- Never has.
The only difference is now the conversation goes the direction every conversation goes we have.
" I want to go back to Ohio".

Ear Flushing Risks

My mother's ears were impacted beyond belief.
The huge wad that I removed from both made me ill.
Now, for the lesson I learned from it.
She got tinnitus.
I think it is slowly getting better, but I feel rotten about it and wont do this again. I do plan on maintenance though.
My father went to the Dr. to have his ears cleaned and they were "unable" to clean his! I don't understand how they can send him out untreated unless they didnt want to risk tinnitus (?)
I guess I should expect this from a VA hospital.

Ears Ugh!

Yesterday at the Geriatric doctor's visit he said she needed her ears cleaned.
What.
 I have her and my father clean their ears with drops and q-tips twice a month!
Well, today I did a first- I peered in there with a flashlight.
Ughhhhh! Hey, I have never seen beyond what you see when you look at a person's ear.
I didnt know it went in so far & got so small.
I had bought an earwax removal kit & filled her up.
Because of her Alzheimers I had to repeatedly remind her why
she had to lay there & why her ears were making funny noises.
Our parents were brought up not to put anything in their ears-
I go right down that canal to my eardrum with my Qtip!
The ear drops actually are disolving the crap in there, but not way in.
I will repeat for a couple days then if needed do the "flushing"
with warm water that I would like to avoid since I remember her
doing it years ago and getting dizzy and ill.
If all else fails we'll go to Dr.

Geriatric Assessment Day

Every six months I take mom to the Dr. to be retested and see how she is doing.
 The Dr said she was quite "animated" today, her short term memory is practically zero,
 and she said she is bored and feels trapped in her apartment.
  I told them I take her out every day but she doesn't remember.
The social worker(?) gave me a bunch of pamphlets -
I started to sink into a hole again, the one I sink into when pamphlets are dumped on me.
I told her I needed a secretary or someone to make all these calls for a companion service.
Plus application for respite monies if they can be used.
 I told her I was very nervous about hiring a stranger to come into mom's place.
She reassured me that they only recommend bonded people etc.
Also that I could call and hire a "geriatric case manager" .
Our 15 minutes were up- three of which he had been on the phone
 and a bunch I spent alone in the room.

"See you in six months!"

"I QUIT !!! "

Some days I just want to scream this at my family
and tell them to take over.
I Quit !!! 
..






. *sigh*......

Antidepressants First Time at Age 87

Three weeks on it and doesn't know.
I think I hear a change in my father on the phone.
He doesn't sound so gruff, angry,complaining...

Today he exclaimed what a beautiful day it was out...
His voice sounded 'light' like it used to a couple years ago.
Almost, dare I say,
happy..?

Injuries

Mysterious injuries are hard to deal with when your parent does not know how they happen.
If you visit them every day you at least know when it happens, I can understand how things could be worse if you do not.
I see my mother every day.
I visited mom last week in the morning and found she had burned her hand.
It wasn't burned the afternoon before.
Because I know her routine I knew she had burned it reaching into the toaster oven. She of course had no idea it was a burn or how it happened.
Keeping her from poking at it with dirty fingers is practically impossible, just like it was when she had dry eyes and they got infected because she wouldnt keep her fingers out.
I feel bad for her, the injury is still a mystery to her a week later. Every day it is a new discovery, a new strange thing on her hand she doesn't know what it is or where it came from..