Mom said to me as I donned my coat and waved goodbye.
- You could have knocked me over with a feather
12/29/17
mom said "Good to see you"
Dec 29, 2017
Dec 14, 2017
Dec 7, 2017
Trip To Hospital
Mom fell a few nights ago and got six staples to the back of her head.
Needless to say i couldnt get back to sleep after that call.
You would never know anything happened though, they said they were
surprised she was fine for the trip and after she came back.
It looks like they put staples into uninjured plain skin now- no redness or
even a line!
I was able to do a puzzle with her after she ate all her lunch.
At first she would just gaze at the pieces.... then touch them...
then we would both guide the pieces into place gently like we were
using an ouija board (haha).
The longer she worked on it the more sense her speech made..
We do the same puzzle every time, a 36 piece picture of a tractor
but i havent done it in a long time.
Needless to say i couldnt get back to sleep after that call.
You would never know anything happened though, they said they were
surprised she was fine for the trip and after she came back.
It looks like they put staples into uninjured plain skin now- no redness or
even a line!
I was able to do a puzzle with her after she ate all her lunch.
At first she would just gaze at the pieces.... then touch them...
then we would both guide the pieces into place gently like we were
using an ouija board (haha).
The longer she worked on it the more sense her speech made..
We do the same puzzle every time, a 36 piece picture of a tractor
but i havent done it in a long time.
Nov 7, 2017
She knew my name
I forgot to say that she even knew my name during my last visit.
I was really happy to hear her call me by name
a number of times!
She also said there was a red plate and a yellow plate.
But the best thing was that when she got irritated at me
she called me by a different sibling's name
and that made me grin with happiness hahaha.
Which made her more irritated and call me it again :D
I have to admit something though.
All this being a bit clear-headed was Very stressful for me because
all of a sudden she was talking about going out etc.
and it made me anxious. In the end though I got my jacket and said
I would be back later. She asked if I was going home (gulp)
I was a tad scared to answer incase she wanted to come with me-
but I said yes, I will be back soon, and she accepted that answer
and said goodbye.
(whew)
I was really happy to hear her call me by name
a number of times!
She also said there was a red plate and a yellow plate.
But the best thing was that when she got irritated at me
she called me by a different sibling's name
and that made me grin with happiness hahaha.
Which made her more irritated and call me it again :D
I have to admit something though.
All this being a bit clear-headed was Very stressful for me because
all of a sudden she was talking about going out etc.
and it made me anxious. In the end though I got my jacket and said
I would be back later. She asked if I was going home (gulp)
I was a tad scared to answer incase she wanted to come with me-
but I said yes, I will be back soon, and she accepted that answer
and said goodbye.
(whew)
Nov 6, 2017
Window Sign
Says "Be Thankful "
and the residents names with what they are known for....
Mom's made me laugh out loud hahaha!
"Dotty -
Shopping "
and the residents names with what they are known for....
Mom's made me laugh out loud hahaha!
"Dotty -
Shopping "
Nov 4, 2017
Days Go By as Autumn Falls
Weeks fly by as though days...
Months pass quickly as weeks.
Mom's health has improved greatly recently.
She actually has said a few sentences that make sense
and follows instructions.
The other day i got a phone call saying she was "Very Busy"
and had landed on her butt because of this so they had
taken her for a walk.
She had been attempting to lift her rollator onto a chair.
The time before she was found on her butt she was in the bathroom
with her ( too tight) pants around her ankles.
I went over and removed all her medium pants
and put all her short sleeved shirts into a drawer.
Anything too small went out, i would have brought them to the
thrift store but the name labels are permanent.
After the visit I went to the thrift store and purchased a ton
of velveteen stretch pants, long sleeved shirts and sweaters.
Happily she still eats all the food on her plate and doesnt fight
tooo hard to take her meds - which she isnt on anything much at all.
Oh and she still toilets herself!
I feel badly about her room being bare but she tries to hide
everything and the items get ruined.
Other people's rooms are so beautiful with plants and pictures, furniture
and photos... But the photos i brought disappeared , the lamp was taken
apart and stashed in a drawer, her quilt vanished into the laundry etc.
Instead, her room has odds and ends of things she has taken-
odd shoes, pieces of wheelchairs, bed remote controls,
crayons pencils yarn, you name it LoL
I love her .
Months pass quickly as weeks.
Mom's health has improved greatly recently.
She actually has said a few sentences that make sense
and follows instructions.
The other day i got a phone call saying she was "Very Busy"
and had landed on her butt because of this so they had
taken her for a walk.
She had been attempting to lift her rollator onto a chair.
The time before she was found on her butt she was in the bathroom
with her ( too tight) pants around her ankles.
I went over and removed all her medium pants
and put all her short sleeved shirts into a drawer.
Anything too small went out, i would have brought them to the
thrift store but the name labels are permanent.
After the visit I went to the thrift store and purchased a ton
of velveteen stretch pants, long sleeved shirts and sweaters.
Happily she still eats all the food on her plate and doesnt fight
tooo hard to take her meds - which she isnt on anything much at all.
Oh and she still toilets herself!
I feel badly about her room being bare but she tries to hide
everything and the items get ruined.
Other people's rooms are so beautiful with plants and pictures, furniture
and photos... But the photos i brought disappeared , the lamp was taken
apart and stashed in a drawer, her quilt vanished into the laundry etc.
Instead, her room has odds and ends of things she has taken-
odd shoes, pieces of wheelchairs, bed remote controls,
crayons pencils yarn, you name it LoL
I love her .
Sep 7, 2017
Last weeks meeting
Mom was asleep on someones bed when I got there.
They said she sleeps a lot more, and doesnt "Shop" anymore
in peoples rooms ( awww )
She was very relaxed and happy when she got up.
She looks very healthy and her legs look good under the compression
stockings. Not all sausagey.
Back when they thought it was a URI - they did bloodwork and urine
and both were negative.
For a week they were unable to catch urine so I asked for them to
put her on the antibiotics anyways. Why not, you know? She wasnt herself.
So the dr agreed. Then, after the results came back, the nurse wanted to take her
Off them- uh, no. She proclaimed all the reasons for not being on them
and I was like no. I REALLY do not like her she talks really fast and hangs up.
So I went in and spoke to someone else who agreed with me as mom
was ALREADY on them and its only a WEEK. Sheesh!
Who knows if the nurse did her own thing anyways.
Back to the meeting-
The nurse said the reason mom was back to being nice was because
she was off the antibiotics. The nurse blamed the
antibiotics for making mom worse. Ugh, NO.
Mom's 'person' there is Nichole. Poor Nichole is always having to wash
mom because she tries to "wash" her diaper and Hipsters in the
poopy toilet. UGH poor girl - Mom gets really stubborn and feisty pushing
her away . She and the others there have come up with a solution though-
Whenever anyone sees her heading to the toilet they tell Nichole
and she runs over and stands there........ and discretely flushes the toilet.
HA, thats what I did, When she was sitting, I pulled off the diaper and tossed
it, and flushed poo before she turned and saw it - of course I was like help anyone(!)
SO thankful she is over there- eek. I read the forum of all these people
dealing with that in their homes .
Anyways! Mom looked well, and as we all agreed, has a new baseline
just a tad different.
They said she sleeps a lot more, and doesnt "Shop" anymore
in peoples rooms ( awww )
She was very relaxed and happy when she got up.
She looks very healthy and her legs look good under the compression
stockings. Not all sausagey.
Back when they thought it was a URI - they did bloodwork and urine
and both were negative.
For a week they were unable to catch urine so I asked for them to
put her on the antibiotics anyways. Why not, you know? She wasnt herself.
So the dr agreed. Then, after the results came back, the nurse wanted to take her
Off them- uh, no. She proclaimed all the reasons for not being on them
and I was like no. I REALLY do not like her she talks really fast and hangs up.
So I went in and spoke to someone else who agreed with me as mom
was ALREADY on them and its only a WEEK. Sheesh!
Who knows if the nurse did her own thing anyways.
Back to the meeting-
The nurse said the reason mom was back to being nice was because
she was off the antibiotics. The nurse blamed the
antibiotics for making mom worse. Ugh, NO.
Mom's 'person' there is Nichole. Poor Nichole is always having to wash
mom because she tries to "wash" her diaper and Hipsters in the
poopy toilet. UGH poor girl - Mom gets really stubborn and feisty pushing
her away . She and the others there have come up with a solution though-
Whenever anyone sees her heading to the toilet they tell Nichole
and she runs over and stands there........ and discretely flushes the toilet.
HA, thats what I did, When she was sitting, I pulled off the diaper and tossed
it, and flushed poo before she turned and saw it - of course I was like help anyone(!)
SO thankful she is over there- eek. I read the forum of all these people
dealing with that in their homes .
Anyways! Mom looked well, and as we all agreed, has a new baseline
just a tad different.
Aug 20, 2017
Contrary
mom has been quite contrary and feisty lately they say.
They are trying to get urine to test for UTI just incase this is the problem.
I visited her and she was either walking around or insisting on laying down and closing her eyes to whomever was attempting to get her to do something.
Take for instance lunch.
She quickly turned away from going to the table and into a bedroom,
sat on the bed and when I approached her she whacked me with the pillow...
So, the aid and I let her lay back and she "closed" her eyes pretending to sleep.
( I could see her eyes , eyelids partially closed like a kid would do)
I sat next to her on the bed and she does this thing where
she "fake yells" in protest... as though I
was touching her and hurting her - which i wasnt .
So, I sang to her and baby-talked to her with the doll I had with me.
She watched through her partially closed eyelids and calmed down.
I did this because she seemed to be acting like herself as a child- not in a bad way,
but in a way where you feel like one and need to be understood like one.
Soon we were off again and to the lunch table.
She was fine the rest of the visit and we gave eachother kisses and noms
( num num num kisses )
After lunch she said something about a nap so we walked to her room and
lay down.
I touched her with soft fleece and then a soft scarf and she said
'that feels nice...."
She wanted her shoes off but I was afraid to leave her in socks and
there are no non-slip ones around any more .
In the picture you can see her eyes arent closed and she is smiling.
They are trying to get urine to test for UTI just incase this is the problem.
I visited her and she was either walking around or insisting on laying down and closing her eyes to whomever was attempting to get her to do something.
Take for instance lunch.
She quickly turned away from going to the table and into a bedroom,
sat on the bed and when I approached her she whacked me with the pillow...
So, the aid and I let her lay back and she "closed" her eyes pretending to sleep.
( I could see her eyes , eyelids partially closed like a kid would do)
I sat next to her on the bed and she does this thing where
she "fake yells" in protest... as though I
was touching her and hurting her - which i wasnt .
So, I sang to her and baby-talked to her with the doll I had with me.
She watched through her partially closed eyelids and calmed down.
I did this because she seemed to be acting like herself as a child- not in a bad way,
but in a way where you feel like one and need to be understood like one.
Soon we were off again and to the lunch table.
She was fine the rest of the visit and we gave eachother kisses and noms
( num num num kisses )
After lunch she said something about a nap so we walked to her room and
lay down.
I touched her with soft fleece and then a soft scarf and she said
'that feels nice...."
She wanted her shoes off but I was afraid to leave her in socks and
there are no non-slip ones around any more .
In the picture you can see her eyes arent closed and she is smiling.
Jul 31, 2017
You're My Mother!
Mom gasped and said to me, her eyes so wide.
Wow! I cant believe you're here!
sigh.
It was good to see her happy reaction though
i love you mom
Wow! I cant believe you're here!
sigh.
It was good to see her happy reaction though
i love you mom
Warning Letters
Since May I have been dealing with the fact that the memory care
financial director is supposed to be renewing moms DSS paperwork.
I keep receiving letters that her benefits are about to run out.
May, June, July over and over saying that her coverage will end July 31.
Today.
I have saved every email and mailing .
Talk about STRESSFUL !
She says they have everything they need and that it
is just sitting on someones desk waiting to get done.
this is crazy and causing me too much anxiety .
i guess this is what happens when a state has no money
and doesnt have enough workers (?)
financial director is supposed to be renewing moms DSS paperwork.
I keep receiving letters that her benefits are about to run out.
May, June, July over and over saying that her coverage will end July 31.
Today.
I have saved every email and mailing .
Talk about STRESSFUL !
She says they have everything they need and that it
is just sitting on someones desk waiting to get done.
this is crazy and causing me too much anxiety .
i guess this is what happens when a state has no money
and doesnt have enough workers (?)
Jul 11, 2017
Jun 23, 2017
How are you?
My mom actually asked how I was and called me by name :)
I had had a dream a few nights ago where she brightened
with recognition and said my name....
She was in great spirits and singing to herself a bit
I got her lunch plate from the heated cart and made myself a
peanut butter jelly sandwich in the kitchen.
I like to get her lunch because it frees up the aid to get her
other people their lunches.
After eating I got out my AG doll and sat her on the table
and I went to the tv room for meeting.
She is being treated for edema and they are trying compression socks.
they all agreed she is doing better with less daytime sleeping episodes.
They said she had been very loving and empathetic towards
other residents lately-- giving back rubs and adjusting
blankets over ones who were sleeping..
I found mom actually allowing another resident to hold the doll
and they were "discussing" the clothing . The other woman must be special
for mom to allow this :)
I put the dolly into the basket of her rollator like a stroller
and we went back to the table
I snuck the doll back into my bag and gave her a kiss to which
she replied something I recognized by the 'toon' so
I said "See ya later alligator , after a while crocodile! "
and gave her a few cheek smootches.
She actually watched me all the way to the door
which hurt as I turned to see her from far away still looking at me
as she sat there......
Thank goodness they have a private "Reflection Room" to sit in
and let out emotions...
I had had a dream a few nights ago where she brightened
with recognition and said my name....
She was in great spirits and singing to herself a bit
I got her lunch plate from the heated cart and made myself a
peanut butter jelly sandwich in the kitchen.
I like to get her lunch because it frees up the aid to get her
other people their lunches.
After eating I got out my AG doll and sat her on the table
and I went to the tv room for meeting.
She is being treated for edema and they are trying compression socks.
they all agreed she is doing better with less daytime sleeping episodes.
They said she had been very loving and empathetic towards
other residents lately-- giving back rubs and adjusting
blankets over ones who were sleeping..
I found mom actually allowing another resident to hold the doll
and they were "discussing" the clothing . The other woman must be special
for mom to allow this :)
I put the dolly into the basket of her rollator like a stroller
and we went back to the table
I snuck the doll back into my bag and gave her a kiss to which
she replied something I recognized by the 'toon' so
I said "See ya later alligator , after a while crocodile! "
and gave her a few cheek smootches.
She actually watched me all the way to the door
which hurt as I turned to see her from far away still looking at me
as she sat there......
Thank goodness they have a private "Reflection Room" to sit in
and let out emotions...
May 29, 2017
Memorial Day
never ever did i think it would be this hard to see your name there dad...
felt i could lay there and bawl forever....
I brought you a pinwheel because i know you would want a smile.
May 21, 2017
Mother's Day and another fall
I visited mom on mother's day..
Mostly to see the other resident's family visitors.
Mom had mac and cheese, minced ham?, roasted sweet potato.
She ate the whole meal and some cake I got from the kitchen.
This all took an hour and a half and was enjoyable to see
how even the most difficult resident was quiet and relaxed as
her visitors and their children surrounded her.
I was made to feel guilty however when I went into moms room
to get my coat and an aid said flatly with a hint of disapproval-
'You're leaving. "
oh well .
Got a call yesterday that mom had fallen in the bathroom
and hit her head.... she was 'fine' :(
Mostly to see the other resident's family visitors.
Mom had mac and cheese, minced ham?, roasted sweet potato.
She ate the whole meal and some cake I got from the kitchen.
This all took an hour and a half and was enjoyable to see
how even the most difficult resident was quiet and relaxed as
her visitors and their children surrounded her.
I was made to feel guilty however when I went into moms room
to get my coat and an aid said flatly with a hint of disapproval-
'You're leaving. "
oh well .
Got a call yesterday that mom had fallen in the bathroom
and hit her head.... she was 'fine' :(
May 2, 2017
Mom falling
It is spring and mom is once more feisty and not sleeping
so they upped her Lorazapam to half tablet at noon.
The next two days she fell in the afternoon around the same time.
I got a phone call pointing out she had fallen and asking
my permission for physical therapy-
I pointed out that her med had been upped for her noon dosage
and the falls were happening three hours later
so she is not in need of physical therapy, it is the drug
making her dizzy.
"Oh.... oh yes.... " she replied.
Last year she fell during this time and cracked her tailbone.
I think about her with guilt every day I do not visit her...
I didnt visit her last week.
We went to visit my dad's grave instead....
so they upped her Lorazapam to half tablet at noon.
The next two days she fell in the afternoon around the same time.
I got a phone call pointing out she had fallen and asking
my permission for physical therapy-
I pointed out that her med had been upped for her noon dosage
and the falls were happening three hours later
so she is not in need of physical therapy, it is the drug
making her dizzy.
"Oh.... oh yes.... " she replied.
Last year she fell during this time and cracked her tailbone.
I think about her with guilt every day I do not visit her...
I didnt visit her last week.
We went to visit my dad's grave instead....
Apr 14, 2017
when dad was extremely sick, a text
Back in January 2015 he was in the hospital so ill that there
is no way he could sign a check.
I had not realized what my sibling was saying
in this text because i was so worried about my father.
Now I do. My father was always saying he wished he could
do more for us and his grandchildren.
This person decided in 2013 to take his checkbook away from
him.
You can look back in this blog for
the entry in 2013.
Now I see it was to pay for her daughters college tuition.
Apr 7, 2017
mom's b-day and meeting
I brought a vegetable platter and teeny cupcakes to the meeting.
When I got there mom was in bed asleep.
I went around saying Hi to all the workers there feeding the residents
and telling them mom was 90 today.
They were all shocked- she really is extremely young looking.
After a while I wanted her to eat lunch so I caressed her
then I massaged her legs so I could slowly remove her socks to see her feet.
Her legs were less swollen and her toes less angry red and no yeast
smell. She lazily kicked me saying no as i rubbed some goldbond
powder between her toes.
After a while I finally got her up and over to a table and got her plate.
She was so sleepy ( Not Due to medication)
that I ended up feeding her.
I left her drowsing in the chair and went over to the meeting across the way.
I learned that keeping non-slip socks on at night was better than barefeet
to keep from slipping in pee. She is always getting up at night.
I learned that powder is very slippery if it gets on the floor so its not a good idea.
They said she is getting a tad in the face of other residents and also
"Helping" a little aggressively ie: Pushing some helpless person's
wheelchair along a bit fast. ( hahaha oh my!)
I reminded them about this happening last year at this time.
Last year they gave her a sedative for a bit, this year the dr decided to
try upping her Lexapro instead to avoid balance problems of a sedative.
After the meeting we all looked for her and found her asleep in someones
bed. Her rollator had been neatly Parked in the shower.
I left her card on her dresser...
When I got there mom was in bed asleep.
I went around saying Hi to all the workers there feeding the residents
and telling them mom was 90 today.
They were all shocked- she really is extremely young looking.
After a while I wanted her to eat lunch so I caressed her
then I massaged her legs so I could slowly remove her socks to see her feet.
Her legs were less swollen and her toes less angry red and no yeast
smell. She lazily kicked me saying no as i rubbed some goldbond
powder between her toes.
After a while I finally got her up and over to a table and got her plate.
She was so sleepy ( Not Due to medication)
that I ended up feeding her.
I left her drowsing in the chair and went over to the meeting across the way.
I learned that keeping non-slip socks on at night was better than barefeet
to keep from slipping in pee. She is always getting up at night.
I learned that powder is very slippery if it gets on the floor so its not a good idea.
They said she is getting a tad in the face of other residents and also
"Helping" a little aggressively ie: Pushing some helpless person's
wheelchair along a bit fast. ( hahaha oh my!)
I reminded them about this happening last year at this time.
Last year they gave her a sedative for a bit, this year the dr decided to
try upping her Lexapro instead to avoid balance problems of a sedative.
After the meeting we all looked for her and found her asleep in someones
bed. Her rollator had been neatly Parked in the shower.
I left her card on her dresser...
Apr 6, 2017
Ninety years old
mom's birthday is today.
Last year she reacted negatively to the staff about celebrating it.
She was also in a terrible "funk" for a month afterwards.
I dont know what to expect this year
all i know is that
buying a simple card
and writing a simple happy birthday
is SO HARD !
Regular meeting today with them
so i am bringing veg and dip and tiny cupcakes
since everyone is watching their weight.
my head feels peculiar and i have tinnitus
i found a text from the sibling from 2015-
It said that dad was always saying he wished he could do more
so she decided that that was reason enough to have him
pay her daughters college tuition.
I didnt reply to the text, so i probably didnt realize wth she was saying.
So now we know where the eighty grand went.
Last year she reacted negatively to the staff about celebrating it.
She was also in a terrible "funk" for a month afterwards.
I dont know what to expect this year
all i know is that
buying a simple card
and writing a simple happy birthday
is SO HARD !
Regular meeting today with them
so i am bringing veg and dip and tiny cupcakes
since everyone is watching their weight.
my head feels peculiar and i have tinnitus
i found a text from the sibling from 2015-
It said that dad was always saying he wished he could do more
so she decided that that was reason enough to have him
pay her daughters college tuition.
I didnt reply to the text, so i probably didnt realize wth she was saying.
So now we know where the eighty grand went.
Mar 6, 2017
Daughter Visited
My mother had no visitors for a year
and this year her son visited
and now her daughter from out of state.
Sister didnt call me, just texted she was
driving down three hours
to bring her daughter to a friend's
and i didnt get the text till hours later.
ok....
I had a nice visit with her this weekend
she ate all her lunch as usual and we curled up on
the couch together under a blanket.
I gave her all kinds of smootches
and she went "num num num num"
SO happy to see
her teeth nice and clean.
wuv you mom
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 10, 2017
DSS Error Not/ IS resolved
when I visited mom last week I reluctantly went in to see the
finance director. I had brought with me copies of moms bank statements from
last year so she could see what happened instead of just me sending
emails.
Well, it turns out that instead of "working on it" like she said she was back
in november she had done NOTHING.
She saw that DSS had charged me for June when SS had not put the money
into moms account until July.
She saw that in order to pay that bill sent a couple months later
that I had used moms death benefit from dad and trust savings.
She copied the bank statements and emailed DSS while i sat there.
I know in my heart this is going no where.
I just emailed her asking about this again
she just replied and said it had been resolved -
Gee thanks for letting me know.
The DSS approved for me to pay the home $255 less.
Well, at least we get that back, I know I will not get the trust savings returned.
finance director. I had brought with me copies of moms bank statements from
last year so she could see what happened instead of just me sending
emails.
Well, it turns out that instead of "working on it" like she said she was back
in november she had done NOTHING.
She saw that DSS had charged me for June when SS had not put the money
into moms account until July.
She saw that in order to pay that bill sent a couple months later
that I had used moms death benefit from dad and trust savings.
She copied the bank statements and emailed DSS while i sat there.
I know in my heart this is going no where.
I just emailed her asking about this again
she just replied and said it had been resolved -
Gee thanks for letting me know.
The DSS approved for me to pay the home $255 less.
Well, at least we get that back, I know I will not get the trust savings returned.
Jan 26, 2017
Future Preparations
I asked my brother to look into finding the grave of our grandmother.
My mother's mother died when she was eight years old.
I have the letter from the doctor to her father saying she had breast cancer
and nothing could be done for her.
The photos we have of them together they both look quite happy
and grandma looks like a kind woman.
Anyhow, I decided after looking into cemeteries around here
that it would be so wonderful if she could be laid to rest with her mother.
My brother knew the cemetery and spoke to someone about it.
Unfortunately they found out that someone else had claimed to be the last
living relative when my brother actually is.
This person had actually moved people around and other bizarre things.
He also was told there is a large family area of paid for unclaimed plots!
At least we found out that as soon as he can prove his genealogy
they would have no problem interning mom with her mother and
having a stone there.
Mom is doing well still, so thankful she can still do a puzzle.
ooxx
My mother's mother died when she was eight years old.
I have the letter from the doctor to her father saying she had breast cancer
and nothing could be done for her.
The photos we have of them together they both look quite happy
and grandma looks like a kind woman.
Anyhow, I decided after looking into cemeteries around here
that it would be so wonderful if she could be laid to rest with her mother.
My brother knew the cemetery and spoke to someone about it.
Unfortunately they found out that someone else had claimed to be the last
living relative when my brother actually is.
This person had actually moved people around and other bizarre things.
He also was told there is a large family area of paid for unclaimed plots!
At least we found out that as soon as he can prove his genealogy
they would have no problem interning mom with her mother and
having a stone there.
Mom is doing well still, so thankful she can still do a puzzle.
ooxx
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