After quite successfully getting her into the car we got there.
They had taken all her clothing to be labeled, inspected her lamp for safety.
They served us a wonderful lunch of chicken and roasted Brussels sprouts.
Mother's was finely cut up already!
She soon lay down for a rest and we had a conversation with the day and night
staff about her.
One thing I pressed is that she is fast on her feet and how she had gotten away
from her first aid before she knew what happened. Also that she has orthostatic
hypotension= dizzy upon standing.
Well, wouldn't you know it.....
an hour later they call me.
She had gotten up from her nap with the girl in there,
left the bedroom without her rolator and closed the door before the girl could get out
and catch her. The girl called the nurse to catch her and mom turned around
and fell.
"Man she's FAST!" the nurse said "you just get done telling us she's fast and
then this happens- she's like lightning!" She apologized profusely fearful I would think
them incompetent ...
she fell on her rump and its carpeted, I said I was glad they didnt panic
and call the ambulance and that she is resilient .
I sure hope they learned their lesson.
Hmm, I think I will call them and tell them to expect her up at midnight
and 3-4am....
Sep 21, 2015
yesterday
I visited mother and all I can think of is that she was
"on something". I have only seen her once like that
and it was when I had to use trazadone for the weekend before
hiring 24hr care. Never did that again and had that drug put on the
do not use list.
Today we take her to the new place.
"on something". I have only seen her once like that
and it was when I had to use trazadone for the weekend before
hiring 24hr care. Never did that again and had that drug put on the
do not use list.
Today we take her to the new place.
Sep 20, 2015
updates
Went to see mom yesterday afternoon.
Her lunch was sitting still covered and uneaten, no one had bothered to feed her.
Her chest is extremely congested and she was quite hungry
but could barely eat with all the coughing and a belly full
of phlegm.
She started to perk up and fiddle about her room, bending and walking well.
I wanted to walk her to get that congestion moving, but next thing you
know she fell asleep.
I took almost all her belongings out of there and most all her clothes to wash.
F-them, they misplaced most of them, lost her blanket, and I found that they
had shrunk everything to child size!
Today we brought everything to the new place.
If she makes it here it will be heavenly.
Here is the view out her door of the atrium.
It is SO peaceful in this place you just want to stay there.
Blessings without number falling on your head. CLUNK!
Her lunch was sitting still covered and uneaten, no one had bothered to feed her.
Her chest is extremely congested and she was quite hungry
but could barely eat with all the coughing and a belly full
of phlegm.
She started to perk up and fiddle about her room, bending and walking well.
I wanted to walk her to get that congestion moving, but next thing you
know she fell asleep.
I took almost all her belongings out of there and most all her clothes to wash.
F-them, they misplaced most of them, lost her blanket, and I found that they
had shrunk everything to child size!
Today we brought everything to the new place.
If she makes it here it will be heavenly.
Here is the view out her door of the atrium.
It is SO peaceful in this place you just want to stay there.
Blessings without number falling on your head. CLUNK!
Sep 19, 2015
Thursday night I had a thought-
What if mom falls and breaks her hip and goes to the hospital.
Friday morning she fell out of bed and hit her head on the night table.'
They said her feet got caught in the blankets.
She was extremely agitated when they helped her up yelling..
They sat her in a chair in her room alone.
A few hours later she attempted to get out of the chair and fell again.
Off to the hospital she went.
After hours of poking and prodding xrays and CT scan
fighting them and yells of protest
they found nothing and she went back to the home.
-
She had on stained dirty clothing that didn't belong to her,
her hair was filthy, nails had feces on them
Her eyes were goopy and infected and she had a congested cough.
I tried to no avail to get her sent to the new place from the hospital.
It being the weekend there is no doctor on duty there and you
have to be checked within 24 hours of arrival.
The woman from the new place, even though it was her day off
and she was out of town, was in contact with me and the hospital
social worker.
I cannot get over just how truly concerned she was, sending emails
and calling.
Needless to say,
my boyfriend and I are burnt out and tired of this ride....
What if mom falls and breaks her hip and goes to the hospital.
Friday morning she fell out of bed and hit her head on the night table.'
They said her feet got caught in the blankets.
She was extremely agitated when they helped her up yelling..
They sat her in a chair in her room alone.
A few hours later she attempted to get out of the chair and fell again.
Off to the hospital she went.
After hours of poking and prodding xrays and CT scan
fighting them and yells of protest
they found nothing and she went back to the home.
-
She had on stained dirty clothing that didn't belong to her,
her hair was filthy, nails had feces on them
Her eyes were goopy and infected and she had a congested cough.
I tried to no avail to get her sent to the new place from the hospital.
It being the weekend there is no doctor on duty there and you
have to be checked within 24 hours of arrival.
The woman from the new place, even though it was her day off
and she was out of town, was in contact with me and the hospital
social worker.
I cannot get over just how truly concerned she was, sending emails
and calling.
Needless to say,
my boyfriend and I are burnt out and tired of this ride....
Sep 18, 2015
The New Place
Yesterday we went to the new home to fill out the papers.
We had taken a tour a while ago, but for some reason this time
I was blown away.
Perhaps it was because I couldnt believe it was for mother to be finally admitted.
When we arrived there was the wonderful sound of a piano player filling
the open air space of the entire place. I felt like I was in a new york mall
or fancy restaurant the way the music sounded.
The center of the circular living space is open to the roof with huge
atrium windows above. The second floor is open also to it
large plants growing in the center below, like a mall.
When the woman showed me that mom would have the window side
of the bedroom I went into shock. A window seat ! The room is pale blue
my mother's favorite color.
They will label her clothes, hang any pictures, room enough for a comfy
chair, bathroom and shower in one right by her bed... ok now I am about to
pass out.
Then we visited the eating area and I saw the most peculiar thing.
A plate of food containing what looked like a deflated corn on the cob.
OMG it was a plate of extruded food that had been made to LOOK
Like what it was !!!!!!!!!! No piles of mashed blobs - these looked
like actual items.
The woman exclaimed who wants to eat that? Then went on to say
they are a unique place... and led us to a full kitchen that is for family
to use and cook things for gatherings WHAT?!
We have full use of anything anywhere, even the craft room Oooo!!
It is $500.00 a day. That will eat up her savings like now, then medicaid
will take over after we turn that in.
Ok, now the things I feel.
I am sorry she will have to be moved again, the poor girl has been through
hell this last two months. Apparently she slapped someone at the place she
is now.
Also, I got rid of everything to empty her apartment so there isnt anything
to bring over and decorate with.
Oh crap!
the old place just called and mom got tangled in her blanket and hit her
head at 5AM. They said she wanted to go to the bathroom so after assessing
her they did that and are keeping an eye on her.
Last night I was suddenly worrying she would fall out of bed and have to
go to the hospital- UGH !
We had taken a tour a while ago, but for some reason this time
I was blown away.
Perhaps it was because I couldnt believe it was for mother to be finally admitted.
When we arrived there was the wonderful sound of a piano player filling
the open air space of the entire place. I felt like I was in a new york mall
or fancy restaurant the way the music sounded.
The center of the circular living space is open to the roof with huge
atrium windows above. The second floor is open also to it
large plants growing in the center below, like a mall.
When the woman showed me that mom would have the window side
of the bedroom I went into shock. A window seat ! The room is pale blue
my mother's favorite color.
They will label her clothes, hang any pictures, room enough for a comfy
chair, bathroom and shower in one right by her bed... ok now I am about to
pass out.
Then we visited the eating area and I saw the most peculiar thing.
A plate of food containing what looked like a deflated corn on the cob.
OMG it was a plate of extruded food that had been made to LOOK
Like what it was !!!!!!!!!! No piles of mashed blobs - these looked
like actual items.
The woman exclaimed who wants to eat that? Then went on to say
they are a unique place... and led us to a full kitchen that is for family
to use and cook things for gatherings WHAT?!
We have full use of anything anywhere, even the craft room Oooo!!
It is $500.00 a day. That will eat up her savings like now, then medicaid
will take over after we turn that in.
Ok, now the things I feel.
I am sorry she will have to be moved again, the poor girl has been through
hell this last two months. Apparently she slapped someone at the place she
is now.
Also, I got rid of everything to empty her apartment so there isnt anything
to bring over and decorate with.
Oh crap!
the old place just called and mom got tangled in her blanket and hit her
head at 5AM. They said she wanted to go to the bathroom so after assessing
her they did that and are keeping an eye on her.
Last night I was suddenly worrying she would fall out of bed and have to
go to the hospital- UGH !
Sep 16, 2015
WooooHooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The nursing home I put mother on the list for three years ago called
SHE's IN !
They sent a nurse over to assess her and she really couldnt get much
from mother, but said she did a little better one on one with her.
From what I heard she isn't getting much attention there
and is alone much of the time.
( I found her fully dressed in bed last time, then they dropped off
a meal she had no idea how to eat.)
I also found out they said she was double incontinent- What?
I said that that is because mom doesn't know where the bathroom is
or who to ask.
No wonder we spend half the time in the bathroom pooping when I visit !
They said they would have her on the extra care floor so there
would be someone to cue her for bathroom and help her eat
and dress.
I think she has been difficult for them with undressing-
I know she is reluctant to give up her underwear.
It sure would be nice for her to eat in a dining room, but I guess
that requires one on one and that isn't there.
The new place is a non-profit Alzheimer's Only place.
The floor plan is circular with a naturally lit atrium like center.
My childhood friend's mother was there and my friend
highly recommended it.
US News and world report rated it Best Nursing Home 2015
SHE's IN !
They sent a nurse over to assess her and she really couldnt get much
from mother, but said she did a little better one on one with her.
From what I heard she isn't getting much attention there
and is alone much of the time.
( I found her fully dressed in bed last time, then they dropped off
a meal she had no idea how to eat.)
I also found out they said she was double incontinent- What?
I said that that is because mom doesn't know where the bathroom is
or who to ask.
No wonder we spend half the time in the bathroom pooping when I visit !
They said they would have her on the extra care floor so there
would be someone to cue her for bathroom and help her eat
and dress.
I think she has been difficult for them with undressing-
I know she is reluctant to give up her underwear.
It sure would be nice for her to eat in a dining room, but I guess
that requires one on one and that isn't there.
The new place is a non-profit Alzheimer's Only place.
The floor plan is circular with a naturally lit atrium like center.
My childhood friend's mother was there and my friend
highly recommended it.
US News and world report rated it Best Nursing Home 2015
Sep 8, 2015
I thought I would be happy
I would have "therapeutic" thoughts when I was caring for mother....
You see, she was a hoarder and this was the fifth time
fifth move we had tossed out the accumulation.
So, while I was taking care of her, I would, in my mind, be
merrily tossing things and furniture out.
But it didn't end up that way for me....
I wasnt really attached to anything there, all that was left was ancient
photos of ancestors over in england that my sister got. Lots of jewelry
costume and real from other passed relatives.
Everything went into the lobby for people to pick through...
(maybe I should have kept that necklace or that mug....)
Small scraps picked up and floors vacuumed....
I think that it is really driving home that mother is not coming back.
This year was full of "lasts"
Last trip to the beach,
last haircut at bernie's
last road trip
Everyone goes through this, these " stages of grief"
watching a loved one slowly lose who they were......
You see, she was a hoarder and this was the fifth time
fifth move we had tossed out the accumulation.
So, while I was taking care of her, I would, in my mind, be
merrily tossing things and furniture out.
But it didn't end up that way for me....
I wasnt really attached to anything there, all that was left was ancient
photos of ancestors over in england that my sister got. Lots of jewelry
costume and real from other passed relatives.
Everything went into the lobby for people to pick through...
(maybe I should have kept that necklace or that mug....)
Small scraps picked up and floors vacuumed....
I think that it is really driving home that mother is not coming back.
This year was full of "lasts"
Last trip to the beach,
last haircut at bernie's
last road trip
Everyone goes through this, these " stages of grief"
watching a loved one slowly lose who they were......
Sep 7, 2015
Mother Congested
When I arrived yesterday I found her in her room with her plate
on her lap and the over bed table with the tray too high and to the side.
I lowered the table infront of her and cut her meatballs up and gave her the spoon.
I really dislike that they do this.
She was very thirsty and I kept refilling her mug with water.
She was extremely congested and I had her cough multiple times.
Once she asked lamely about going home, but that was it.
But asked multiple times what the piece of cake was and delighted anew
each time she tasted it.
After lunch I toileted her and brushed flossed her teeth.
Then for the first time I took her out to the court yard to wait for my
sisters. It was really nice out there!
The visit was nice, my sisters couldn't believe what a wonderful place
it is.
Mother was happy to see them and kept saying "ya-ya-ya"
as they rubbed her arms and shoulders.
I cannot believe that I ironed name tags on all her clothes and they
are ALL GONE.
" I'll find a clean sweater downstairs for her" the aid said...
Cripe they lost two of hers already, and I found a shirt that wasnt hers
in her closet that THEY wrote her name inside- what?
oh well, I am not going to do her laundry.
Oh, she had had a shower and nails trimmed and chin shaved yay!
Anyways, we walked around the courtyard singing and her lungs got cleared
out.
My sisters and kids took everything they wanted out of her apartment
so I feel better about that. There was a huge set of stoneware dishes
that were giving me pain about getting rid of and my nephew took them.
(sigh of relief)
on her lap and the over bed table with the tray too high and to the side.
I lowered the table infront of her and cut her meatballs up and gave her the spoon.
I really dislike that they do this.
She was very thirsty and I kept refilling her mug with water.
She was extremely congested and I had her cough multiple times.
Once she asked lamely about going home, but that was it.
But asked multiple times what the piece of cake was and delighted anew
each time she tasted it.
After lunch I toileted her and brushed flossed her teeth.
Then for the first time I took her out to the court yard to wait for my
sisters. It was really nice out there!
The visit was nice, my sisters couldn't believe what a wonderful place
it is.
Mother was happy to see them and kept saying "ya-ya-ya"
as they rubbed her arms and shoulders.
I cannot believe that I ironed name tags on all her clothes and they
are ALL GONE.
" I'll find a clean sweater downstairs for her" the aid said...
Cripe they lost two of hers already, and I found a shirt that wasnt hers
in her closet that THEY wrote her name inside- what?
oh well, I am not going to do her laundry.
Oh, she had had a shower and nails trimmed and chin shaved yay!
Anyways, we walked around the courtyard singing and her lungs got cleared
out.
My sisters and kids took everything they wanted out of her apartment
so I feel better about that. There was a huge set of stoneware dishes
that were giving me pain about getting rid of and my nephew took them.
(sigh of relief)
Sep 6, 2015
Let Go Darn It !
My sister and adult children are going to visit mother today.
She thought she could just take her out to lunch...
I discouraged her from doing that, I just don't know how she is yet.
They could sit out in the court yard I think.
I am afraid of "upsetting the applecart".
What the heck is wrong with me, I seem to be overly concerned about
them seeing her expecting her to be like she was a couple months ago.
When I visit, I observe her from afar and organize her room then
spend a small bit of quiet time with her prior to an activity.
It is a small wing at the back of a larger facility -
The four of us are going to be quite a parade.
Geez, I just gotta let it go-
I get all concerned about how my sister or kids will be upset,
that the other residents will be sad they dont have visitors,
also I have a big tendency to feel I have to be "The Leader" .
Just let it GO.
She thought she could just take her out to lunch...
I discouraged her from doing that, I just don't know how she is yet.
They could sit out in the court yard I think.
I am afraid of "upsetting the applecart".
What the heck is wrong with me, I seem to be overly concerned about
them seeing her expecting her to be like she was a couple months ago.
When I visit, I observe her from afar and organize her room then
spend a small bit of quiet time with her prior to an activity.
It is a small wing at the back of a larger facility -
The four of us are going to be quite a parade.
Geez, I just gotta let it go-
I get all concerned about how my sister or kids will be upset,
that the other residents will be sad they dont have visitors,
also I have a big tendency to feel I have to be "The Leader" .
Just let it GO.
Sep 1, 2015
Visited Mother
She was great !
She was at a table waiting for lunch and directing two other ladies
to straighten the table cloth lol .
I brought a doll and she played with it a while waiting for lunch.
I emptied her cart basket- lordy there was a full cup of coffee in
there .
Lunch was so late that the nurses went down and got the carts themselves,
so there!
I shredded her chicken and had her use the spoon only-much better.
Took her to the bathroom, then
took her a wonderful bright room and colored.
Then it was game time and I left.
She never asked where she was, never asked to "go home"
nothing! She was content !
I like the staff, they aren't grumpy and burnt out-
we had a good laugh at how a woman totally flooded her room.
The floor nurse in charge is energetic and with-it.
Now, if they could just find moms laundry we'd be all set :P
She was at a table waiting for lunch and directing two other ladies
to straighten the table cloth lol .
I brought a doll and she played with it a while waiting for lunch.
I emptied her cart basket- lordy there was a full cup of coffee in
there .
Lunch was so late that the nurses went down and got the carts themselves,
so there!
I shredded her chicken and had her use the spoon only-much better.
Took her to the bathroom, then
took her a wonderful bright room and colored.
Then it was game time and I left.
She never asked where she was, never asked to "go home"
nothing! She was content !
I like the staff, they aren't grumpy and burnt out-
we had a good laugh at how a woman totally flooded her room.
The floor nurse in charge is energetic and with-it.
Now, if they could just find moms laundry we'd be all set :P
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