I saw this today and thought of my father.I think it applies to all elderly. Think of this next time you think of your parent.

Hearing Aids etc.

One of my father's hearing aids is dead and I cannot figure out why. One of my mother's has started to beep 4 times and I don't even know who to call. Ugh. Another problem to add to the pile.
My mother sees a "Senior Assessment" doctor every three months. He is the one who initially diagnosed her but I really am starting to wonder why bother going to see him. Her primary care doctor has the tests he gives her (draw a clock etc) and can prescribe her medication, so I am thinking of dropping him. He and his secretary are impossible to contact because he is with a hospital- where as her primary is in a regular Dr's office and easily contacted.
Today's assessment was good, as in not any worse- zero short term memory, but looks great.
I feel she is very high functioning-who cares that she doesn't know what day it is, she can still care for herself.

Fighting Depression

I finally told the friend that I can no longer PU/Del. my mother and will provide gas money instead. She agreed and took mom out. This gave the opportunity to go over and change the settings in her breaker box without her there. She does not remember that maintenance screwed it's door shut and blamed her lack of access to it on me, so I didnt want to unscrew the door infront of her.
 I had it screwed shut because she would arbitrarily flip the breakers to control the heat and I was afraid she would shut off her refrigerator or something.
I am climbing out of the throws from another bout of depression
 compounded by obsessive thoughts that came along with it.
 It's tough when plagued by repetitive unhelpful thoughts/sentences.
 Especially when I hear discouraging words from my parents, like when I am walking away from mother and she says "I don't like it here"
After something like that is said, my brain, if in a weakened state, will repeat it over and over, making me feel even more heavy.
Meds and vitamins are prevailing though.

Rent Renewal

Today was rent renewal day for my mother.
I have dreaded this day because she is extremely suspicious of forms and you have to sign about twenty of them. It took about an hour because she would inspect each piece of paper, sign it, give the pen back & sit back as though done. I had already filled out all the doctor information but the secretary had to type and print out each page. Then after that, more pages had to be signed. I could see mom was becoming more and more angry, but I kept the explanations simple= "So your rent wont go up". At one point she voiced what she really wanted and that was "to move out". The woman's answer was friendly, replying she could do that at any time.. whew,that satisfied mom, good answer.
This was the third time we have done this- bringing that up just upset her more. Needless to say, we were both exhausted afterwards. I got the feeling after I visited for a while back at her apartment she forgot about the whole thing!

I Felt Pity

When I saw this on the news I felt pity for the man.
He had been caring for his mother alone for 20 years.
For the last year she was bed-ridden.
You could see the depression in his eyes.
When the news showed other family members
 they were all 'la-de-da', healthy, young.
http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/news/crime/man-kills-elderly-mother-turns-gun-on-himself

Help With Strings Attached

There is only one other person who will take my mother out.
 This offer comes with strings though.
 I have to take three hours out of my crazy day and go pick
 my mother up and help the person with her computer.
This is not helping me!
Today I went to dads. I brought him soda, vitamin drink, his laundry and candy.
Paid some bills, shaved his head etc.
 Took him out to lunch then dealt with him having 2 glasses of wine and having to creep
 his sorry mean ass back to his room as he yelled at people trying to be nice holding the doors.
After that I had to go get my mother and deal with that whole thing.
How about help for help's sake, no strings or me having to do half the work?

Forgetting Sucks

Had my mother over for tea yesterday.
The entire time she spoke obsessively that she was alone and wanted to move. I pointed out repeatedly that she goes out every day, that where she lived before she was Truly alone and now she lives right next door. I showed her my date book marked with everything she has been doing.
She acknowledged each point shown to her.
Then repeated each complaint a minute later.
I can really understand why people give up taking their person anywhere or doing things with them when it doesn't seem worth the trouble.
I found the date book I gave her in which I write what she has done for the day completely written all over. So much for the notebooks she has to write her notes.

It seems she is obsessed with negative thoughts- I think they keep her up at night, she is always tired.

B-day

My daily morning call to my mother I told her it was my birthday the other day.
She proceeded to sing happy birthday in our old family tradition way-
all goofy and out of tune- it was funny.
When I went over later she had actually found a birthday card and wrote in it!
Amazing considering I had been over the other day and she couldn't write her other daughter's cards at all.
She had not even been able to do a card for ME that day without help which was kinda depressing.
But here she had found (another) one and filled it out all by herself!
Definitely treasuring that one :)

Dementia and Time Perception

My mother is displaying a very interesting change in her perception of time.
It has gone back to the way time felt as a kid!
A day feels like a week
a week feels like a month
a month feels like a year.

The past few days each time she has referred to something a week long or a week ago it was actually a day. We go to the bank once a month, she said it feels like the last time was a year ago.
Wow this is amazing!
I always have been aware of how my perception of time was SO slow as a kid, then squashed and fast now.
With dementia it slows down again.
No wonder she is bored all the time- just like a kid!

New Year

This new year I will try more not to resist the fact that my parents need me and that other family members will not show up available for the task. I have learned amazing lessons in non-verbal communication with my mother and have read articles of others who are able to articulate them. Like this one-
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2011/12/caregivers-resolution-no-push-push.html
Speaking out loud actions I am about to do or are doing has become habit.Telling her what we are doing, where we are going, or that she has everything in her purse she needs, repeatedly, without her having to ask, brings us both calm.
It is hard when I want to look for something in her apartment because she wants to help but it is impossible for someone who forgets immediately what it is or what it looks like. I end up looking for things covertly lol.
I know in my heart I am doing what I am here to do.
I just hope my parents don't suffer because of slowness on my part.
I also hope that my friends understand my absence.