I finally told the friend that I can no longer PU/Del. my mother and will provide gas money instead. She agreed and took mom out. This gave the opportunity to go over and change the settings in her breaker box without her there. She does not remember that maintenance screwed it's door shut and blamed her lack of access to it on me, so I didnt want to unscrew the door infront of her.
I had it screwed shut because she would arbitrarily flip the breakers to control the heat and I was afraid she would shut off her refrigerator or something.
I am climbing out of the throws from another bout of depression
compounded by obsessive thoughts that came along with it.
It's tough when plagued by repetitive unhelpful thoughts/sentences.
Especially when I hear discouraging words from my parents, like when I am walking away from mother and she says "I don't like it here"
After something like that is said, my brain, if in a weakened state, will repeat it over and over, making me feel even more heavy.
Meds and vitamins are prevailing though.
4 comments:
Negative comments came from my mother all the time after she got sick. I just don't think they even know what they are saying.Things just pop out that make no sense at all. I always wondered though...sometimes..I send you hugs and support whenever you need it.Been spending some major down time lately in bed with kleenex. I remember that I have to get through the bad stuff to get to the GOOD stuff. : )
I suffered from repetitive thoughts years ago and Yoga cured it. P.S. What good stuff?
My mother suffers from depression, but not alzheimers, as far as I know. The other day she was out with me, and the afternoon didn't turn out as planned. Then she started laying the guilt on me, how I hadn't done this or that, how she had done so much for me. She forgets that since my dad died 25 years ago, it is me that had done a ton of stuff over the years for her, as the only off-spring close by. How many daughters would have built her things, put in new faucets, put in laminate flooring, etc etc. We did have a kiss, cry and make up session when I got her back to the care home, but episodes like that sure make it hard to get myself to drive out and see her some days.
My mother keeps saying "I want to go home"... I finally understood "home" is her room and her bed. This put a new light on things for me. So when she says I want to go home, I take her to her room. Perhaps your mother associates "here" with her mental confusion. My experience is that they are quite aware they are confused... must be horrible. Hang in there, one day at a time, you are doing your best and you are doing a good job.
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