I felt this an appropriate quote for here..
"I felt a cleavage in my mind
As if my brain had split;
I tried to match it, seam by seam,
But could not make them fit.
"The thought behind I strove to join
Unto the thought before,
But sequence raveled out of reach
Like balls upon a floor."
--Emily Dickinson
Jun 29, 2011
Chore Day
Today I went over to mom's and had a cleaning morning.
I set up the vacuum for her and I tackled the bathroom
and then the kitchen.
She was tired but in the typical way of reacting to this she said she should go out for a walk. Her body was telling her something= rest, but she cannot hear her body anymore. Her answer to whatever her body says to her is 'go for a walk' whether it is telling her she is hungry or to rest.
I made her lunch and left to rest myself.
When I called a couple hours later to take her out she hadn't eaten yet but had fallen asleep. Instead of a walk, we just sat outside and enjoyed the breezes.
I set up the vacuum for her and I tackled the bathroom
and then the kitchen.
She was tired but in the typical way of reacting to this she said she should go out for a walk. Her body was telling her something= rest, but she cannot hear her body anymore. Her answer to whatever her body says to her is 'go for a walk' whether it is telling her she is hungry or to rest.
I made her lunch and left to rest myself.
When I called a couple hours later to take her out she hadn't eaten yet but had fallen asleep. Instead of a walk, we just sat outside and enjoyed the breezes.
Jun 27, 2011
Beads For Mom
I bought a bead kit at the craft store and some clear stretchy cord thick enough for her to hold and see. Also some magnetic clasps.
She become quite anxious when presented with the project, which we work on alittle every day. She is confused because there are so many different shapes and becomes very upset that she will put them on the cord in the wrong order.
I had no idea she was so particular about things being exact- to the point of not wanting to do whatever it is for fear of making a mistake.
I am quite sure she has been like this her whole life, and now with this disease it is even harder. Continuous reassurance that it is for fun, showing her how pretty it is, and her inability to see well makes it very slow going so it will be a few days till she's done.
She become quite anxious when presented with the project, which we work on alittle every day. She is confused because there are so many different shapes and becomes very upset that she will put them on the cord in the wrong order.
I had no idea she was so particular about things being exact- to the point of not wanting to do whatever it is for fear of making a mistake.
I am quite sure she has been like this her whole life, and now with this disease it is even harder. Continuous reassurance that it is for fun, showing her how pretty it is, and her inability to see well makes it very slow going so it will be a few days till she's done.
Jun 20, 2011
Crazy Sunday
The weekend and today I have been barraged with phone calls from both of them.
First it was my father calling about his knit cap being missing and he cannot sleep without it. Back & forth calls till he found it. Then calling to say he crapped the new shorts I got him. I have been dealing with his crapped clothes so much I called the place and asked that they lower the stool softeners he's on. He called the next day to say NOT to DO that because he needs to be on them, and did not recall soiling his clothing before.
Mother called countless times on sunday about going to church with my sister who wouldn't answer phone.
This morning I was trying to fill out S.S. forms for myself and rental rebate forms for mother and I. After the fourth phone call saying she needed milk (she doesn't)
I lost it and hung up on her.
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to smash something.
Instead, I go over and get her laundry and write up a grocery list there with big letters for her to see.
First it was my father calling about his knit cap being missing and he cannot sleep without it. Back & forth calls till he found it. Then calling to say he crapped the new shorts I got him. I have been dealing with his crapped clothes so much I called the place and asked that they lower the stool softeners he's on. He called the next day to say NOT to DO that because he needs to be on them, and did not recall soiling his clothing before.
Mother called countless times on sunday about going to church with my sister who wouldn't answer phone.
This morning I was trying to fill out S.S. forms for myself and rental rebate forms for mother and I. After the fourth phone call saying she needed milk (she doesn't)
I lost it and hung up on her.
Sometimes I wish I had the strength to smash something.
Instead, I go over and get her laundry and write up a grocery list there with big letters for her to see.
Jun 18, 2011
Let Them Do It
If you do not let the person with dementia do 'it',
whatever it may be, They will forget how!
This applies to countless activities through the day.
Sure it would be easier for me to handle the money at the store, and mom tries to make me, but I still send her over to the register herself as I stay close by.
Sure it would be easier for me to vacuum and get it overwith, but I set up the machine for her & leave it to her.
I have come to learn she is a very clean and organised person,
but for chores that are not done every day she forgets how.
There are many acts of kindness I could do for her, but in the end they become one more thing she will be unable to to.
Oh, she said a wonderful thing=
"I don't hate it here, I just wish I had a back yard I could go out to myself"
Progress! She actually has been using deductive reasoning! Actually thinking about what specifically is the problem she has with living here, instead of just saying "I wanna go home".
whatever it may be, They will forget how!
This applies to countless activities through the day.
Sure it would be easier for me to handle the money at the store, and mom tries to make me, but I still send her over to the register herself as I stay close by.
Sure it would be easier for me to vacuum and get it overwith, but I set up the machine for her & leave it to her.
I have come to learn she is a very clean and organised person,
but for chores that are not done every day she forgets how.
There are many acts of kindness I could do for her, but in the end they become one more thing she will be unable to to.
Oh, she said a wonderful thing=
"I don't hate it here, I just wish I had a back yard I could go out to myself"
Progress! She actually has been using deductive reasoning! Actually thinking about what specifically is the problem she has with living here, instead of just saying "I wanna go home".
Jun 16, 2011
Father and His Clothes
My father wants to get rid of his underwear! What is it with these two and their underwear?!
He says he has too many pairs.
He says he has never and will not ever wear his sandals -
he wore them all last summer, he doesn't remember that.
Wow he is losing it- I am going over tomorrow and will do what I have done in the past- take the items no questions asked, and keep them to bring back if needed in the future.
He says he has too many pairs.
He says he has never and will not ever wear his sandals -
he wore them all last summer, he doesn't remember that.
Wow he is losing it- I am going over tomorrow and will do what I have done in the past- take the items no questions asked, and keep them to bring back if needed in the future.
Jun 15, 2011
Mother's New Clothes
Since my mother has gained some weight she is very confused as to why her clothing does not fit. Lately, every time I go over there she hands me underwear & shorts or whatever and says that they must be mine- "they're huge" (she means small) "You must have left them here". After protesting and explaining the last few times hasn't worked I just take the items.
But this created a problem, she needed new underwear and she is a person who pays huge attention to size labels.
I bought her proper sized underpants but she was alarmed at the size printed on them. After trying them on countless times, and totally confused why the stretched out old 5's fit her as well as the 9's I told her that tomorrow she would be calling me saying they were MY underwear and that she should write herself a note.
Same with the new sneakers I got her-which she Loves. I kept pointing at them and reminding her they were new & to look at them closely.
I left the apartment with all her old underwear & sneakers so she would have nothing to compare the new ones to.
I know the note will be lost and she will be wondering who left their things there...ah well, we did our best.
But this created a problem, she needed new underwear and she is a person who pays huge attention to size labels.
I bought her proper sized underpants but she was alarmed at the size printed on them. After trying them on countless times, and totally confused why the stretched out old 5's fit her as well as the 9's I told her that tomorrow she would be calling me saying they were MY underwear and that she should write herself a note.
Same with the new sneakers I got her-which she Loves. I kept pointing at them and reminding her they were new & to look at them closely.
I left the apartment with all her old underwear & sneakers so she would have nothing to compare the new ones to.
I know the note will be lost and she will be wondering who left their things there...ah well, we did our best.
Jun 8, 2011
What Was The First Sign of Alzheimer's
The first sign was my mother's inability to balance her checkbook.
But years before that, she decided that she could no longer drive- out of the blue this person who like to drive all over the place & shop suddenly said she couldn't keep up with it. I just attributed it to poor hearing.
years later I can remember clothes shopping with her and she kept taking the shirt she had just chosen out of the cart and asking what it was over & over & over.
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/11/what-was-first-sign-of-alzheimers.html
I am shocked at how many people started showing in their 50's
But years before that, she decided that she could no longer drive- out of the blue this person who like to drive all over the place & shop suddenly said she couldn't keep up with it. I just attributed it to poor hearing.
years later I can remember clothes shopping with her and she kept taking the shirt she had just chosen out of the cart and asking what it was over & over & over.
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/11/what-was-first-sign-of-alzheimers.html
I am shocked at how many people started showing in their 50's
Father
I wish my father would just call a cab and go to a bar.
Instead of having me take him 'to lunch' where he doesn't eat.
It pains me when in the same sentence he will thank me for helping him, then say he's in a 'nut-house' and how much he hates it and to "never recommend this place to anyone".... when he knows I am the reason he's there.
Instead of having me take him 'to lunch' where he doesn't eat.
It pains me when in the same sentence he will thank me for helping him, then say he's in a 'nut-house' and how much he hates it and to "never recommend this place to anyone".... when he knows I am the reason he's there.
Mother
Just a little reading today- one person's experience. She was lucky.
http://www.squidoo.com/alzheimer-family
Some days are just too much for me. Her state of mind, her reality too confusing for me because soon after I explain something it is forgotten.
She doesn't understand why I dont want to explain something because she doesn't remember that I just did!
And yet alot of things are being remembered(!)
Causing me more confusion.
Stubbornness abounds with clothing- insists on wearing a jacket when I tell her it is 90 out. I resist getting an air conditioner for her when she cannot figure out how to control the heat and INSISTS upon unplugging everything and not having fans or anything on at night.
I wish I had a family member that was a 'go getter'.
http://www.squidoo.com/alzheimer-family
Some days are just too much for me. Her state of mind, her reality too confusing for me because soon after I explain something it is forgotten.
She doesn't understand why I dont want to explain something because she doesn't remember that I just did!
And yet alot of things are being remembered(!)
Causing me more confusion.
Stubbornness abounds with clothing- insists on wearing a jacket when I tell her it is 90 out. I resist getting an air conditioner for her when she cannot figure out how to control the heat and INSISTS upon unplugging everything and not having fans or anything on at night.
I wish I had a family member that was a 'go getter'.
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