Alzheimer Face of Fear

Yesterday after happily putting our puzzle away
my mother suddenly looked at me in fear.
"Where am I?  I don't know how to get back"
I gave her a reasuring rub and pointed out our building
saying thats where we live, I live there too.
Reassurance is an hourly thing with her as far as my telling
her where I live and that she isnt alone.
The large look of fear that pops on her face as I
lead the way to places is disconcerting
but always met with my smile and
" Its OK"
and most importantly,
a hug .

Unrecognized Hunger

Poor mother doesn't know she is hungry!
Sometimes I get caught up in things and dont get over
to feed her at noon.
At times I find she has made a sandwich, but today
she was sleepy and full of " I dont know"
Made her a salad with tuna on it and brought her back to life.
She gets up so darn early and has breakfast then.
I put on a cd of mommas and papas to get her going.
it is so cold outside!!! Another day of inside walking.

There are some blogs that I would love to comment on
but cannot and this is one of them.
http://cleaninghousebook.blogspot.com/

Quote

From the alzheimer forum I read--

"" Do the best you can because you are the guide so they are not alone
 along this crappy journey.
Good luck to you....
a survivor of there and back again and almost done.""

This is why I am caring for my mother, so she isn't alone in her
confusing world.
A world you wake up after a nap and don't know where you are.
Not very many people have someone.
An anchor to keep you from floating away, to protect from danger,
to lead....
One day I will need the same...
we all will....

Sweet tooth times Ten

Just got back from sitting there till my mother finished her dinner.
Her background is one of eating natural with no pasta.
Chicken and brown rice, fish and lots of fruit.
 tonights dinner was chicken parm. and she was very reluctant to
eat the chicken. She brought her plate back into the kitchen after
a fussy dispute with me.
She opened the refrigerator and bent to get jello and I said
"no desert till you eat your chicken" (hahaha)
This exchange was familiar to her I found as she
returned and finished it.
I was over multiple times today with groceries and laundry,
lunch, walk, and dinner, spending time over there with each...
and yet she just called not remembering a thing and wondering why,
and where she was....
I went over all the things we did and that I live close by,
trying to reassure her...
Such is the day of mine and hers....

Window Block

I snuck a wooden dowel into mother's and dropped
it into the window track. She didnt notice what I was doing
and I actually couldnt even see it after it went in !
I figure even though it is a couple inches short
it is better than the window being wide open.
She is still able to do 100 piece puzzles although
sometimes she gets discouraged if the pieces
are all the same color. If this is the case, she just
lays them all out haphazardly but flat in the space.
I continue to sneak out trash and food that is past prime.
On grocery day as I take items out of bags into her
fridge, I remove stuff and put it into the bags,lol.
On laundry day, I put worn through shoes, worn out
stained clothing etc. under the dirty laundry and
toss it out down the hall on the way to machine.
Very slowly I have gotten rid of alot of confusing
clutter.

Open Windows

One thing that my mother has done since this disease started
is open her windows with the heat or airconditioning on.
It drives me Nuts!
Her oil and electric bills were outragious in her last place.
Here she isn't billed for it but i am still upset at the waste.
Going to try to put some kind of wooden dowel to block it
but i think she will just take it out. She is a very determinded
person when it comes to things like that.
She worked at her fuse box for years trying to open it after
i had maintenence screw it shut.