On the twenty first of April
mom was found in the morning by her bed unable to get up.
She had landed on her tailbone.
Xrays done a few days later were found to be clear
but she is still hurting.
Yesterday I went to see her.
She was sleeping in bed and I opened the blinds because it was
getting late for lunch and they were going to let her miss it.
(damn I hate that)
The first thing she said upon me saying my name to her
was "Goody" - sigh, I love that.....
As she awoke I lay with her and we "nom-nom-nom" kissed
cheeks and hugged.
Oh, the way it hurt her to try to raise herself was heartbreaking.
I had her roll to her side instead and brought her legs over
and she toughly sat up and after a bit she was walking.
She walks fine, and sat at the table fine also.
Her speech is word salad all the time now but I have a nice
reassuring conversation with her comprised of nods and smiles.
Saying things just exacerbates anxiety because they hear you say
weird things.
She sat with her hands in her lap, but was quite happy to have me
feed her, so I did .
She was able to get up from the chair no problem so we went for
a walk and back to the wing where I sat her on the couch.
Adjusting herself on the couch was ouchie but soon she was nodding off
and I tucked a blanket around the back of her neck to keep her head
from getting a crick.
I stood for a while stoking her hair and forehead before leaving....
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 24, 2016
My Father
Went to see my father for his birthday...
once again he didn't seem to care about the things
I brought , just wanted the chocolate and tried to deceive
me into bringing him downstairs to where the car was.
I cannot take him in the car, so it was outside to the patio.
The psychological impact of the visit was unknown to me
until the next day when I found myself with extreme fatigue.
It felt like gravity was stronger, pushing down on me..
This morning I awoke with the old feelings and memories of
his mental abuse...
He would point his finger in your face and force a
stare with his eyes boring into your soul
purposely hatefully sending thoughts of pure hate and evil.
He would derive great joy in making us weep by the
bombardment of our spirit and soul by this hate.
My sisters and I were effected for life by this,
none of us could stand blue eyes or anything pointing
at us (even inanimate objects) .
He even did this with grandchildren to make them cry.
How confusing to mix this memory with the man
who would carry me as a baby on his shoulders
and bounce me on his knee..........
Apr 18, 2016
Mother's staff meeting
I found mom not thrilled with her lunch.
It was mashed up Kielbasi and the pink color made her think
it wasn't cooked and she also kept spitting out the tiny pieces of rind.
After lunch, a couple bites of icecream sandwich,
and a puzzle (yay she was able to do that!)
we walked over to the tv room for the meeting.
I informed them about why she wasnt eating her lunch
and I was informed that she had lost four pounds!
Also that she sometimes goes without a meal because she is "busy".
I was not happy about that at all, but they believe in letting residents
do their own thing...
They are going to start yogurt shakes. My father's place is doing
that with him also to put on weight but he says they are too sweet (!)
Anyways, there was the usual "we love her, she's so funny" talk...
Sorry, I am such a pessimist lol .
There were two photos of her behind the nurses desk,
one of her with a wig perched on her head that she had found,
and one of her grimacing with a garland of fake roses around her head.
(she grimaces if she has been told to smile for the camera)
They find her entertaining...
I brought up how she wasn't herself on her birthday and that started a
revealing conversation. They said she hadn't been right that entire week
and they thought it was spring fever or something and couldnt figure it
out. Then that saturday she was back to normal.
I told them it was because of her birthday and I was told that when one
of them brought her birthday balloons and tried to sing to her
mom would have nothing of it and put her hand up and said "no!".
When I had gone to see her that day she wanted to go "home" and
even said her home state ! She hasnt done that forever.
After the meeting I sat with her a while and held her hand and she
snugged in...
When it was time to go she said the most heartbreaking thing....
"I'm going to cry"
It was mashed up Kielbasi and the pink color made her think
it wasn't cooked and she also kept spitting out the tiny pieces of rind.
After lunch, a couple bites of icecream sandwich,
and a puzzle (yay she was able to do that!)
we walked over to the tv room for the meeting.
I informed them about why she wasnt eating her lunch
and I was informed that she had lost four pounds!
Also that she sometimes goes without a meal because she is "busy".
I was not happy about that at all, but they believe in letting residents
do their own thing...
They are going to start yogurt shakes. My father's place is doing
that with him also to put on weight but he says they are too sweet (!)
Anyways, there was the usual "we love her, she's so funny" talk...
Sorry, I am such a pessimist lol .
There were two photos of her behind the nurses desk,
one of her with a wig perched on her head that she had found,
and one of her grimacing with a garland of fake roses around her head.
(she grimaces if she has been told to smile for the camera)
They find her entertaining...
I brought up how she wasn't herself on her birthday and that started a
revealing conversation. They said she hadn't been right that entire week
and they thought it was spring fever or something and couldnt figure it
out. Then that saturday she was back to normal.
I told them it was because of her birthday and I was told that when one
of them brought her birthday balloons and tried to sing to her
mom would have nothing of it and put her hand up and said "no!".
When I had gone to see her that day she wanted to go "home" and
even said her home state ! She hasnt done that forever.
After the meeting I sat with her a while and held her hand and she
snugged in...
When it was time to go she said the most heartbreaking thing....
"I'm going to cry"
Apr 14, 2016
Short Recap
So last night on NOVA they said that in 2020 there should be a drug available
that is being tried on people now.
It works like a vaccine and causes the brain
to attack the Amyloid plaques. Amyloid plaques are big balls of
junk proteins that have stuck together instead of being flushed from the brain.
Junk proteins are flushed from a healthy brain every night during sleep.
I was unaware that trials have been going on for years and have had
such success with these drugs that they are beyond the trials and
directly giving them to people.
I learned that the reason past drugs have failed is because they cause swelling
of the brain. Well, they are using these drugs on moderate patients whose brains are
full of plaques, of course an attack on them is going to cause a large
inflammation response.
The show was about two groups, a large percentage of Mexican family who
contract it (and die) in their forties,
and people here who get it in their sixties and older.
They now can detect the disease by radioactive dye that attaches itself to
the plaques and can be seen DECADES before symptoms present themselves.
Also by genetic testing, they were able to find the genes because of the
mexican group.
The conclusion was this-
The mexican group was to be given large doses prior to their thirties,
why? Because according to the MRI radioactive dye, their brains were already
full of plaque ten to twenty years prior to symptoms.
With the dye test and genetic test they were able to find who needed the drug
and who didn't. This kept down the cost and accelerated the testing.
The moderate ALZ group here was shown to slow or level off the progress,
but lets face it they were being treated too late.
They need us to go in, get tested, and start treatment NOW
before we present with symptoms.
that is being tried on people now.
It works like a vaccine and causes the brain
to attack the Amyloid plaques. Amyloid plaques are big balls of
junk proteins that have stuck together instead of being flushed from the brain.
Junk proteins are flushed from a healthy brain every night during sleep.
I was unaware that trials have been going on for years and have had
such success with these drugs that they are beyond the trials and
directly giving them to people.
I learned that the reason past drugs have failed is because they cause swelling
of the brain. Well, they are using these drugs on moderate patients whose brains are
full of plaques, of course an attack on them is going to cause a large
inflammation response.
The show was about two groups, a large percentage of Mexican family who
contract it (and die) in their forties,
and people here who get it in their sixties and older.
They now can detect the disease by radioactive dye that attaches itself to
the plaques and can be seen DECADES before symptoms present themselves.
Also by genetic testing, they were able to find the genes because of the
mexican group.
The conclusion was this-
The mexican group was to be given large doses prior to their thirties,
why? Because according to the MRI radioactive dye, their brains were already
full of plaque ten to twenty years prior to symptoms.
With the dye test and genetic test they were able to find who needed the drug
and who didn't. This kept down the cost and accelerated the testing.
The moderate ALZ group here was shown to slow or level off the progress,
but lets face it they were being treated too late.
They need us to go in, get tested, and start treatment NOW
before we present with symptoms.
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