Panic

I told my father I would not be able to take him out this Friday.
He is in an alcoholic panic about this...
He has been pressing me each day since my Friday visit to come this week.
"It's only an hour of your time"
Sunday I told him I would not be home and he called me repeatedly.
Left one message saying to come Wednesday, then hang-ups to home & cellphone.
At nine pm I had had it and answered saying I will not be coming this week.
It took me big balls to say this and I know it is not the end of it by any means.
Next he will probably get angry, or poor me in this joint full of crooks & stupid people,
 or try to make me feel guilty because of car or money he has given me.
I told him I will not go to package store for him.
I quit buying 2+yr ago and cannot go into a package store.

Alcohol is what almost killed him.

Controlling Parents

I have been reading forums to find out how children deal with parents who were controlling and or bullies when they were kids and how they deal with them now that they are adults.
The consensus was that as children we were 'groomed' to be victims by parents, powerless in their own lives, found power in controlling and bullying their children.
One person's answer was that a bully has no power
if it has no victim.
My father has been bullying everyone where he lives, and laying down crazy strict rules, which if not followed by new staff they receive his loud wrath.
Rules for medications, mail, seating, Everything.
Oh, and god forbid you are overweight.
Then wonders why no one will take him to the shower!
Somehow,
I need to teach myself that I have the right to live my own life
and to live it without guilt... Not allow myself to be bullied or controlled anymore.
By my mother or father.
I just do not know how, and I am making things worse for myself by doing everything they demand.

Alcoholism and Elderly

My father is an alcoholic who has no access to alcohol now that he is in a home.
When I take him to the diner he has two glasses of wine. Then for the next week it is on his mind till we go again. Every evening he calls and says he wishes he 'could have some more of that right now'. Even at the diner he says he could just keep having more and more.
I wish I didn't have to deal with this, I quit having alcohol in my house 2 years ago.
Another thing is his stupid shared bathroom battle with his neighbor.
The guy leaves his door open,pees on the seat etc.
The place called me yesterday because they were shouting over it.
I wish so badly I were like most people and had less personal contact with BOTH my parents.
I hate being in this situation.
I just want to clock him.
  But since I cannot do that I want to yell at him to
"Knock it OFF" like he would to me.

Understanding Alzheimer's Disease

Very good article I found speaks about the physical part of the brain being affected and the results experienced.
Starting where it says 'Illustration of the brain'
http://www.iowacareercounselor.com/Understanding.htm

Father's Health

My father was sent to the VA hospital on Friday for difficulty breathing and chest pain.
I thought they meant a heart attack but that wasn't it.
He had fluid in his lungs which they dried up with diuretics.
Then, because it was the weekend, nothing was done.
I called and called- no Dr.
Monday he was seen by residents.
Then he got an echocardiogram.
The next day he got the results- fluid around heart & a bad valve. 
Every day this week I called and called wanting to speak to a Dr.
I couldn't figure out why they were keeping him when they weren't going to do any treatment.
Finally I got a call tuesday 8am saying he would get stress test wednesday!
I was aggravated- why make him stay over night for this and why give him a stress test??
He got the stress test & another echo that day.
wednesday was another day hanging around for results.
Today, thursday I hope he will be going back home.
Their prognosis- Bad valve. On low dose diuretics.

Mother at Night

My mother called me after 8pm last night.
" Where's the top to the thing in the kitchen?"
"It's hot in here and the heat is off"
At this moment all I am thinking as I sit there in my PJ's
is -does this sound important enough to go over?
Is this a safety issue?
No... so after not being able to figure out what she means
I tell her not to worry about it and go to bed.
I read today that people with alzheimer have a hard time regulating their body heat. I am positive that she was agitated and her body temp rose with it.

Today I had maintenance screw her fuse box closed to keep her from fiddling with the circuit breakers.