Memorial Day

never ever did i think it would be this hard to see your name there dad...
felt i could lay there and bawl forever....
I brought you a pinwheel because i know you would want a smile.

Mother's Day and another fall

I visited mom on mother's day..
Mostly to see the other resident's family visitors.
Mom had mac and cheese, minced ham?, roasted  sweet potato.
She ate the whole meal and some cake I got from the kitchen.
This all took an hour and a half and was enjoyable to see
how even the most difficult resident was quiet and relaxed as
her visitors and their children surrounded her.

I was made to feel guilty however when I went into moms room
to get my coat and an aid said flatly with a hint of disapproval-
'You're leaving. "

oh well .

Got a call yesterday that mom had fallen in the bathroom
and hit her head.... she was 'fine'  :(

Mom falling

It is spring and mom is once more feisty and not sleeping
so they upped her Lorazapam to half tablet at noon.
The next two days she fell in the afternoon around the same time.
I got a phone call pointing out she had fallen and asking
my permission for physical therapy-
I pointed out that her med had been upped for her noon dosage
and the falls were happening three hours later
so she is not in need of physical therapy, it is the drug
making her dizzy.
"Oh.... oh yes.... " she replied.

Last year she fell during this time and cracked her tailbone.

I think about her with guilt every day I do not visit her...
I didnt visit her last week.
We went to visit my dad's grave instead....