This new year I will try more not to resist the fact that my parents need me and that other family members will not show up available for the task. I have learned amazing lessons in non-verbal communication with my mother and have read articles of others who are able to articulate them. Like this one-
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2011/12/caregivers-resolution-no-push-push.html
Speaking out loud actions I am about to do or are doing has become habit.Telling her what we are doing, where we are going, or that she has everything in her purse she needs, repeatedly, without her having to ask, brings us both calm.
It is hard when I want to look for something in her apartment because she wants to help but it is impossible for someone who forgets immediately what it is or what it looks like. I end up looking for things covertly lol.
I know in my heart I am doing what I am here to do.
I just hope my parents don't suffer because of slowness on my part.
I also hope that my friends understand my absence.
3 comments:
I've just finished reading every one of your posts...I'm overwhelmed by all you have gone and are going through. If nothing else, it makes me realize how much worse I could have it. It is only those in a similar position that have a true understanding of how it really is.
A New Years hug for you.
Others have no IDEA how bad it is really unless they are there close by and are able to see it first hand and experience some of what you deal with. My friends understood what I had to do, but only ONE of them knew because she herself had been a caregiver and one for someone who had some mental impairments.Hang in there..we can listen and YES I REALLY DO GET IT!!
PS that COVERT line got me laughing cause I did the same thing with mom. HAH
Your mother and father surely feel the love you feel for them. I hope your friends will be there when you have time again. I too, know in my heart that I am doing what I am here to do... doesn't make it any less painful, though. Caregiving changes one forever, I think.
Post a Comment