Meeting with Gerontologist, Mom Happy

Got mom a big book of flowers, she loves it!
I visited on tuesday this week because I had been scheduled to meet with
a geriatric doctor about mom's future.
I looked the doctor up before hand and this is her-
http://annekennymd.com/about/

She sat at the lunch table with mom and I which was a relief because I
was not looking forward to being in a tiny office alone with a stranger.
This way she could also observe mom in action.
Dr. Kenny asked me to think about what mom would want at the end of her life.
To think about whether or not to hospitalize ect.
I responded I am always telling them to not bring her to hospital when she falls
but last time the nurse insisted.
I asked her why I was told certain things by a nurse such as
having mom on "Palliative care" they wouldnt have to micromanage her intake
and report it to dr.
Dr Kenny told me the nurse wasnt explaining what happens correctly.
She explained that the state keeps an eye on these numbers and the home
is forced to comply with keeping them up. To the point of actually pushing
a person to eat or drink even when they dont want to. Or go to the hospital.
When a person is labeled Palliative this doesnt happen.
I told her I thought it would keep the home Accountable which she understood
but didnt feel they were like that here.
(I had witnessed them trying to encourage her to eat when she didnt
want to and it made mom aggravated and more resistant.)

We talked about when mom was so sleepy and wouldnt get out of bed or eat/drink.
I voiced my concern about them just letting her lay there thirsty and how I cranked up her
bed and took the time to get her going. How she was soon eating lunch and out of bed.
The Dr thinks that mom was like that as a side effect of the antibiotics for the UTI.
Mom's condition then was why the nurse had thought she had entered into the "last stage".
Dr. Kenny spoke to me about UTI's in people with dementia and it was an eye-opener.
She said that it is because the urine sits in the ureter, not necessarily because of cleanliness.
The connection between the brain and bladder isnt working right.
Also that the side effects of the antibiotics are worse than letting the body deal with it
on its own.
It was at this point she said the "M" word - the word which strikes fear in me deeply.
Morphine.
"Just a drop so that she can just rest and sleep through the pain,
 wouldnt you like to just sleep through the pain of a UTI ? "
I said I would prefer her get liquid acetominophen.
She responded about comfort and to think about all these things for the future.
The doctor kept pressing about what mom would want
and i know one thing.
She never took medication for anything. Not even shingles. She took
quinine and aspirin for that terrible pain.
Also, if you are asleep you arent going to be drinking the fluids necessary to flush
out infection.

Of course one day she will not be able to drink...

Other things mentioned for thought-
Not bothering to test for UTI
No more blood tests
Not treating pneumonia from inhalation
Cutting medication doses or eliminating them.
Allowing body to be natural, not prolonging the inevitable