I still have not set a date for the funeral.
I have had no time alone to grieve.
SO many phone calls have been made and more to make
because my mother is on title 19 and now will be losing income.
Yesterday as I walked into a store, the funeral home called and
said I can come in and pick. up. the. urn.
I hung up and tears filled my eyes......
What ? I can't do that! what will i do with him?
I will call today and see if I can leave there till i make a date.

Everyone says a funeral is for "the living"
I am setting this up to honor dad only.
I do not want to be there to receive 'condolences' .
(How about sending me a card? Zero condolence cards.)
I do not want to partake in idle chat and happy stories of the past
with 'family' who I havent seen in decades.
its not a family reunion.
I honestly feel like giving the urn and flag to the proper authorities
and leaving.
I would rather see the gravesite alone later.
i know i wont be allowed to do this though-
have to be a good girl and do whats right and proper.