Confessions

none of my siblings or I seem to be able to care properly for our aging parents.

At least to my specifications of care.

My mother's 'nurse' that i do not care for, called me and said that for unspecified

acts of resistance she would be giving mom an additional dose of adavan per day.

 I called the next day suggesting to someone else that it just be used

when needed after they looked at the report and found no reason specified 

and said maybe she was just having a 'bad day'. 

Anyways, back to the nurse-

She has an obvious communication problem even in person. 

She will state loudly what she has to say and will answer 

your questions by repeating her sentence. Talking over you.

On the phone she sounds like she is panicking, but i am sure it is just 

her, spewing out the info and wanting to hang up quick--

or at least thats how she sounds- 

In person she is the same, and I have tried multiple times to talk to her

only to have her interrupt me with her opinion or to call out

to someone else and tell me she has to 'go'.

Last time, I just turned my back on her and walked away.  

Back to confessions....

My father was back in the hospital for UTI yesterday.

The sister that is supposed to be advocating for him has never called about him 

or visited. 

What have I done for him? Nothing..... 

I have not called either. 

I know that in order to receive decent care in a nursing home or anywhere,

the family has got to visit. Phone calls can be and are just glossed over

by the person behind the desk. "Oh, he/she's FINE and functioning well!"

then you drop by and find them stoned or feverish in bed, sleeping 

through meals and dehydrated.

and yet....

How many years can a family member deal with this without succumbing

to apathy themselves? 

Especially when lifetime mental illness has affected all the children because

of said parents.