"just because your mom doesn't remember you in the way you remember people...her graciousness and joy at seeing you and spending time with you says that she enjoys the visit.
I have dementia, so I just want to add a little of what it is like to help give some perspective. We forget who you are, and we forget how we know you...we forget how we are connected...but we FEEL you. We FEEL your loving presence...or, your scared one, or your worries...whatever you bring with you, we FEEL.
If it were me deciding if you should visit me, I would say that if you can resolve whatever your are experiencing and bring positive warm feelings, then come...but if you can only manage to bring negative emotions then don't.
Friendly people coming to say hi, is always nice. Watching this happen to a loved one hurts. If you can process that thru and just be present for her...awesome, but if you are not there yet that is ok too.
Very importantly - just because she doesn't remember you, what your name is or how you are connected...even if she cannot talk - SHE is still in there! Dementia is like the layers of an onion covering us up one by one...but we are still in here,
and we are reaching out and trying so hard to hang on.
Connections with people are like light in the dark.
Don't let people try to tell you otherwise."
2 comments:
Just stopping by to say hello and to see how you are doing. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and wish you well. I will keep you and the family in my prayers.
Well said. Visit--it matters.
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