Aggressive Father

I have not visited my father since he went into nursing home.
I do not want to or feel I can either.
Spoke to him a few times, last time he said he had heard someone say
in the hallway that I was dead.
The hospital and NH are requesting family call him and tell him to take his antibiotics.  He is aggressively resisting.
All this with him is a weight upon my shoulders that is affecting how I care for my mother and myself. It makes me not have the patience needed to deal with her...
 mostly because I am angry at father for not changing.
All my life I was the "go between"  as a kid with him and my mother
and recently this type stuff.
I was always compliant and obedient,
 but for some reason as an adult he listened to me.
It's a nasty biting dog that will only listen to one person... what happens to that dog
when the 'person' is gone-?

Well, a patient ends up being kicked out of the nursing home and put in a bad place.
Bad for the patient.
More burden for the family.