I had a difficult visit

Driving to see mom I had the usual slight anxiety and heavy
breathing. The anxiety of wondering what state she will be in.
When i came in she hadnt had lunch yet and I was told she had been sleeping
in a chair.
I saw the 'pill lady' pop her a crushed pill as I walked over to see her.
Mom smiled and i went into her room to take my coat off and check
out what new things were missing. She had put water in a vase of
fake flowers and it had leaked and ruined the cheap drawer thing it
was on- woops!
We sat and ate lunch with a lady and her mother I see every time.
She told me she wont go on a trip more than an hour away, she gets too
anxious... I understand this feeling very much...
one day I hope to overcome it though....
Mom sleepily ate her entire plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and veg.
Then we went to the tv room where we usually color...
Usually....
she was too groggy so I just squished close to her and looked
at a magazine. I couldnt even get her to smile for the camera,
and her eyelids were red, the pics I did get she looked drunk
so i deleted them.
The other lady left because her mother fell asleep in her chair.
I told her that I hate to see mom like this, but I dont have to
deal with her all day like they do anymore...
But it is difficult.
Yes, she is healthy and certainly calm so...

Not looking at the camera, she looks great, but I know the truth
of how she really looked.